During lunch on the 7th Day, God created Sean Penn.
Wherever there is political, social, or economic strife you will find Sean Penn, and his very serious mustache.
Over the years he has transformed from an affable pothead into a passionate activist focused purely on worthy causes: single-handedly rebuilding New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina, eloquently informing the nation that George Bush metaphorically shits himself, and spending the past year repairing the Haitians’ broken country and spirit.
When he isn’t frowning, winning Oscars, walking on water, or pissing off Wyclef Jean, Sean Penn is busy saving lives. And I’m not even being sarcastic, he’s seriously saves lives— who actually does that? How many people can claim they save lives? You know, other than police officers, fire fighters, doctors, therapists, life guards, crossing guards, and nurses.
I once sat next to a dying squirrel at the end of my driveway for a couple hours in an effort to comfort him. However, Penn spends his Christmas in cholera-infested Haiti, kissing sick children.
Saying, “he’s filthy rich, it’s easy for him to help the poor,” is a cynic’s cop-out. It may be easier for him to allocate funds to different causes because of his wealth and fame, but it’s certainly not his obligation to move to Haiti for a year.
What Penn is doing is a borderline crazy, selfless, death wish. And he has no plan on stopping anytime soon. “There’s no end point. This is where I’ll be when I’m not working, for the rest of my life,” said Penn.
After the earthquakes in Haiti plenty of celebrities donated money or helped telethons in support of the already unfortunate Haitians. But no one helped quite like Penn, and although he has always been an activist, this was taking it to a new extreme.
I don’t think it’s a coincidence that his missionary trip to Haiti coincided with his divorce with Robin Wright Penn. Most people get divorced, sulk a little, bury themselves in their work or find a hobby like model trains. Others quickly become best buddies with the bottle.
Instead of conventional means of mourning and recuperation, Sean Penn decided to go off the grid and re-marry—the entire country of Haiti. It’s admirable, but definitely a smidge insane.
Twenty-eight years ago Jeff Spicoli walked onto our movie screens as one of the most well-crafted, memorable stoners in film history. The only thing he needed back then was some tasty waves and cool buds and he’d be fine.
He’s a lot more serious now, a lot less fun, but I guess that’s what happens when Jeff Spicoli becomes a noble, yet unhappy do-gooder.
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