That bright star is Jesus, shining over a museum of science.

Two nights ago Sharron Angle visited Iowa, not to campaign for president, but to attend a screening of the film, “The Genesis Code.” What pray tell is “The Genesis Code”? I’m glad you asked.

If you’ve taken the time to watch the above clip, I’ll kindly give you a moment to wipe the vomit off your mouth because I know exactly how you feel—how could they insinuate that anything other than creationism could be true?

As a tea-partier this movie’s existence offends me in its nature. And to throw fuel on the fire, Sharron Angle, the Republican candidate who unsuccessfully ran against Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid last year, attended a showing of “The Genesis Code” in Iowa two days ago.

Politico called the film “a Christian movie about balancing faith and science in contemporary America.” I call it bullarky. The only manna about this movie is the opportunity to say “The Genesis Chode,” a fun play on words first experienced with “The Da Vinci Chode.”

The heretical movie is about a college journalist assigned to profile the school’s hot, popular “hockey superstar” who, coincidentally, happens to be too cool for Christ. The young college journalist, however, having eyes for the athletic atheist, encourages him to pray for his dying mother. He rejects this idea because it’s stupid, or at least that’s what science says, so the journalist sets out to prove “that what science teaches us about creation and the Story as told in Genesis are both true and in perfect accord!”

This is where shit hits the fan.

I saw a video today on CNN about a gorilla walking around like a human. You know what this made me think? Attar from “Planet of the Apes” is looking good these days. You know what I didn’t think? That this has anything to do with evolution and neither should “The Genesis Code.”

In all seriousness, whether with you agree with this movie’s message or not you couldn’t possibly enjoy it. The movie, which cost $5 million to make and stars former Republican presidential candidate Fred Thompson and somehow two Academy Award winners, might have the worst writing, graphics and directing ever.

Example dialogue:
“Is that your girl?” “No, not this one. She’s a Christian.”
“Kerry, we live in the postmodern world.”
“Science and the six days of Genesis are in complete accord!” This last quote is followed by a picture of Einstein because nothing gets more science than Einstein.

This movie actually offends me, not because of it’s message, which in all honesty could be worse, but because it’s so fucking awful—awful in delivery and awful in purpose. I’m not sure if this movie is trying to bring together agnostics with Christians or mild Christians with extreme Christians or if this is the creationist white flag finally declaring that their logic is wildly unfounded and will never be accepted without a picture of Einstein slapped over it.

If the latter is the case then I’m sad to see creationism go, because with it goes the idea that brontosauruses were on the Ark. Say what you want about creationism, but that much is true.