He may have been an autocratic blowhard who cared little for the will of his people, but that’s in the past. Mubarak: stepping down and looking great doing it.
If there’s a takeaway from this profile shot, it’s that Hosni Mubarak doesn’t look a day over 70-something.
The recently deposed dictator possesses the enigmatic grin of a Kennedy, the jet black hair of a young Ben Affleck and the ears of Clark Gable. How did he manage to keep it together while guys his age, let’s take Henry Kissinger for instance, wound up like hogs?
Perhaps it’s because he has lived the coddled life of comfortable celebrity for well over 30 years, soaking up rays by the Red Sea and participating in the odd soccer game or two, just to keep fit, on the off chance a violent revolution would swell and sweep him out of power.
Mubarak’s hair recalls of the barbershop scene in “Coming to America” where Eddie Murphy tells them “only the finest nuts, oils and berries” have been put in his hair. Much like a baby labrador retriever, Mubarak’s hair is so black it’s blue. You put your hand on that thing, you’re coming back with gross sticky fingers—like Pooh Bear’s after an unlawful (but deserved) dip into the honey pot.
Mubarak’s skin is reminiscent of only the baby-est of baby seals. You know what you don’t hear often? “So old, so smooth.” Mubarak owns this, like he once owned Egypt. Whatever he’s putting on his face, Kiehl’s better get over here ASAP. After the past two years of unrelenting economic disaster, 29 is the new 48 here in the States.