You only want to read this if you don’t want to read this.

Is anyone else tired of hearing about that sad, sick bastard Charlie Sheen? Has anyone else managed not to catch whatever virus of fascination is circulating the internet? Did anyone else not give the smallest shit about the guy to begin with? Would anyone else like to sleep a Sheen-less sleep?

Your prayers, sobs, and dry-heaves have been answered.

Let me introduce you to Tinted Sheen, the perfect way for you to virtually rid yourself of all of Sheen’s wife-beating, coke-breathing, porn-making, language-destroying exploits. This excellent add-on blacks out all mentions and images of Sheen from your browser window, so you can surf peacefully through calm, Charlie-free waters. No longer will you have to spit out your morning coffee (before which you neglected to “win so radically…it’s scary“) at your computer screen. No longer will you have to wade, cringing, through news updates. No longer will you have anything to contribute to fixated conversations about “What’s wrong with that man??

You might still be a loser who envies his life, but at least you won’t have to watch any more of his “winning” before you die a peaceful, if amateur, death.