New album reviewed in five syllables, then seven, then five again.
1. “Machu Picchu”
Synth, begged for, perhaps
Angles by Franz Ferdinand?
Restraint, a virtue.
2. “Under Cover of Darkness”
Back to roots, best. Ill-
Advised Thin Lizzy riff in
Verse, forgivable.
3. “Two Kinds of Happiness”
Flock of Seagulls and
Buggles birth a love child, but
I ask, “Where’s the sex?”
4. “You’re so Right”
Drum machine, it was
Only a matter of time.
Pass me the quaaludes.
5. “Taken for a Fool”
80 BPM
Shy of Sonic the Hedgehog
Soundtrack. Next song, plz.
6. “Games”
At this point, shortcut:
Look at cover of Angles.
You’ve heard the album.
7. “Call Me Back”
Bossa Stroke-a, “Girl
From Ipanema.” Got it.
You can play guitar.
8. “Gratisfaction”
Dear band: make me care
About your music. Did I
Mention Thin Lizzy?
9. “Metabolism”
Mine is lightning fast.
Eat like hell. Sorry, what were
We talking about?
10. “Life is Simple in the Moonlight”
Nice chorus ruined
At its height. Fitting. ‘Blancas,
The Strokes, come too soon.
Final grade: C+
That’s okay. C’s get degrees.
Listen to it here.
