Warning to All New Yorkers: Check The Toilet Bowl Before Sitting Down

The Bronx Zoo is confident that the missing deadly cobra is probably in an enclosed building away from the public…. wow, how reassuring.

Imagine walking down the streets of New York, checking the latest tweets on your blackberry, and BAM — a 20-inch Cobra takes a bite out of your leg. This seemingly fantastic scenario is now totally a possibility since the Bronx Zoo has yet to find the missing venomous Egyptian Cobra that made it’s escape this past Saturday.

“Based on our knowledge of the natural history and behavior of snakes, we know they seek closed-in spaces and are not comfortable in open areas,” says a Bronx Zoo Official. Dark, tight, sparsely populated areas. Now I can experience even bigger worries and discomfort as I wait alone in the subway station near my apartment or use the rarely cleaned public bathroom in the nearest Starbucks.

The Cobra, the infamous snake that Cleopatra supposedly used for her suicide, quickly destroys nerve tissue, causing paralysis and death due to respiratory failure. It takes just 15 minutes for a human to die after being bitten. In other words, if you get bitten, you better get to a hospital STAT.

“To understand the situation, you have to understand snakes,” zoo Director Jim Breheny said in a statement released this Sunday.

I think I speak for most New Yorkers when I say: I do not understand snakes. Though I’m not petrified of the deadly creatures, I definitely wouldn’t know what to do if one crossed my path. Apparently it’s easy to charm a snake, just google it. You can get step by step instructions on how to easily charm a Cobra (thanks ehow.com). Now on top of worrying whether I remembered to grab my iPhone, keys, and wallet before leaving my apartment, I need to remember to pack my magical flute. (Be warned, snakes are deaf and have the tendency to sway, so you probably aren’t charming the pants off the deadly reptile and you probably are going to get bitten.Unless you’re Miss Snake Charmer.)

Until the snake is found, take a break from your cell phones, iPods, and Nooks. Be aware of your surroundings and watch where you’re stepping. If you do see the snake my best advice would be: run.

[ Via CNN]