A telegenic, well-financed and best-selling author, who may be a secret foreign agent, has aspirations for the Presidency? Not on my watch.
Donald Trump, in one short week, was roasted by The Situation, and then went full-blown Birther with the shortbus of daytime talk that is Fox & Friends. Now that’s a media whore. Take that, Birther Queen Orly Taitz.
But in Trump’s eagerness to ally himself with Orly and her merry band of xenophobic warriors and demand President Obama turn over a “real” birth certificate, the Donald forgot one key point: he doesn’t have a “real” birth certificate either.
The much ballyhooed document that Trump provided the media with yesterday isn’t an official document. As Ben Smith reported: “POLITICO’s… call to city officials revealed that an actual birth certificate, which is issued by the Department of Health, would have the agency’s seal and also a signature of the city registrar – neither of which the Trump document has. Officials said the city Health Department is the ‘sole issuing authority’ of official birth certificates in New York, and that the document would clearly say so, and ‘city officials said it’s not an official document.’”
So where’s the birth certificate Trumpy? Hand it over buddy. I’m launching a New Birther Movement to demand that Donald Trump prove that he’s an American citizen (with a document that only I deem authoritative). Join me and we will save America from this shadowy and charismatic public figure.
I’ve started an online petition to demand that Trump turn over his birth certificate and I won’t rest until every single American (including Mr. Trump himself) signs it.
When you look closely at Trump’s background you realize how shady and anti-American he may or may not be. Did you know that Trump’s mother isn’t actually American? She was Scottish. Scottish! I’ve seen “Braveheart”—the Scots practically invented the scary anti-colonialism that New Gingrich fears lies in the heart of President Obama (and the founding fathers).
It’s clear what’s happening here. Donald Trump is a Manchurian candidate, a one-man sleeper cell who’s been lying dormant for 64 years and now is trying to seize power and impose his ancestors’ Scottish anti-colonial agenda on the rest of us. He’s even (maybe) going to have Gary Busey be his Secretary of Coked-out Awesomeness.
Well here’s one American who’s not going to be fooled. Leave aside the fact that I’m not American: I’m a Canuck who lives exclusively off a diet of poutine and Labatt 50 but, hell, even I have an American birth certificate. There’s a guy down in the East Village who makes them on his 1998 iMac for $15.