Weiner Should Know That Penises Are Hard to Ignore

Rep. Anthony Weiner‘s weekend was filled with crotch shot intrigue after a hacker allegedly rammed through his Twitter security and sent a picture of an underwear-clad erection to one of the congressman’s female followers.

The Tweet of an erect man in his underwear was sent from Weiner’s account to 21-year old Seattle resident Gennette Nicole Cordova on Friday night, prompting the New York Democrat to call the picture a hack job.

“Tivo shot. FB hacked,” he wrote, and then joked, “Is my blender gonna attack me next?”

Poor Cordova, meanwhile, had to spend her Memorial Day holiday denying any illicit involvement, although refused to say whether she thinks the tweet was indeed a “hack.”

But Weiner remains firm, and hired a lawyer to walk him toward an investigation into a prank that’s being used to divert from pressing political problems.

“At a time when the GOP is playing games with the debt limit, a member of the Supreme Court is refusing to recuse himself from matters he has a financial interest in, and middle class incomes are stagnant, many want to change the subject,” Weiner insisted in a statement. “I don’t. This was a prank, and a silly one. I’m focused on my work.”

He also remarked, “[This] was a prank. It was intended to distract. I’m not going to let it do it.” If only that were so easy.

Weiner’s right wing enemies are all too happy to fan this story’s flames. To point: the picture was first reported by blogger Dan Wolfe, who has for weeks been saying Weiner would face a scandal. Wolfe denies any involvement.

Andrew Breitbart has also raised his virtual eyebrows, asking whether the married Congressman was “hacked or hung?” and later called for a “forensic analysis to determine the veracity of Congressman Weiner’s hacking allegation.”

That sounds a bit extreme. Congressman Weiner’s most likely telling the truth: someone wanted to throw him off his game. And a penis picture is a very effective tool.

Weiner described the penis “prank” as “not terribly creative,” and he’s right. If the picture is indeed sabotage, it’s beautiful in its simplicity, because the American penis has historically lacked the popular support of its female counterparts, particularly breasts, which are far more prominent and therefore more socially palatable, while penises have for so long shocked and awed, forbidden from film and censored from contemporary cultural expression.

It’s only recently that the American penis has enjoyed limited acceptability.

Producer Judd Apatow, for example, has vowed to use as many penises in his movies as possible — next up: a fake penis for Paul Rudd in “Wanderlust” — and Harry Potter himself let it all hang out for the play “Equus.”

In the political realm, Republican Sen. Scott Brown sprawled nearly naked for “Cosmopolitan.” He didn’t do full frontal, but certainly his pose allows the imagination to roam free. And another Republican, Illinois-based Congressman Aaron Schock, captured our hearts with an equally suggestive between-the-legs swimsuit shot.

Still, penises can be just as frightening for the American public — need I bring up the gay fear that resulted when Adam Lambert thrust his crotch in a male dancer’s face in 2009? — and the use of one, especially erect, to create the illusion of a politician’s illicit proclivities can quickly grow into more than just a distraction.

When a penis arises, it’s hard to look away. Yes, even among men, who actually look at crotches more than women. The male genitals, it turns out, are hard to ignore, although some should be.