Anthony Weiner and the Crotch Shot Heard Round the World

Anthony Weiner became famous for supporting a single-payer healthcare system. He became even more famous for photographing his crotch and accidentally sharing it on the web.

Anthony Weiner and the Crotch Shot Heard Round the World
Is this the Sword of al-Qaeda?

Forget “Legacy of Ashes” and every other book I’ve read on the CIA—everything I needed to know about plausible deniability I learned from Anthony Weiner.

After tweeting a crotch shot to one of his 45,000 followers on Twitter, the media-savvy NY Representative found himself embroiled in a full-scale political scandal. What would have been a normal act of stupidity for any average American is a sacrilegious matter for politicians, as politicians, save JFK, are supposed to be asexual. (It’s been nearly 20 years since his presidency and we still haven’t forgiven Bill Clinton for his licentiousness.)

Weiner didn’t do himself any favors during yesterday’s media blitz. He neither confirmed nor denied that the photographed crotch was his own. He gave vague answers such as, “there are pictures of me in the world.” Indeed there are. One of those pictures showcases a smooth phallic outline wrapped in tight, almost technical gray underpants.

Even before the crotch shot, it seemed that Weiner was on television all of the time, and had become the de facto opinionator on Democratic causes. Weiner, who looks like a cross between Pauly Shore and Anwar Sadat, is quick-witted and tack sharp. His mental acuity is what allowed him to develop the “prankster” character who hacked his account and sent the untraceable photograph. For a scandal is nothing without an unsubstantiated figure.

Like most unsubstantiated figures, this prankster is a figment of Weiner’s imagination despite the fact he or she is regularly touted about on talk shows and in print. Who is the prankster? The prankster is whoever hit “share” instead of “send” on their Blackberry. An honest mistake turned media circus.

The crotch shot’s explosive media coverage is rivaled only by Sarah Palin’s bus tour to nowhere. Our debt ceiling is yet to be raised as the healthcare debate looms large, yet the most important political news of the moment revolves around a Brooklyn representative’s penis and Sarah Palin’s ego. We’re going to start needing distractions from all these distractions.