Author Archive

Sheri Davis Believes in Hands-on Teaching

Davis, a 40-year-old special education teacher from Jamie’s House Charter School in Houston was terminated after she was filmed beating the shit out of a 13-year-old student, right in the middle of class. Initially, the whole thing seems like a joke with kids laughing and cheering, although the violence quickly escalates. Jamie’s House Charter School [...]

Further Proof That White Girls Can't Dance

If you live in New York you’re well aware of today’s cold, gloomy conditions, and if you don’t live in New York, well, everyone needs a reason to laugh, right? My gift to you is the video below. This is not just any video. This video is of Miley Cyrus. Lap dancing (poorly, might I [...]

Hugh Hefner On 'The Pill': It's Awesome

In celebration of The Pill’s 50th anniversary, CNN published a piece containing opinions on its significance for women and society. Women quoted included a model and actress, a CNN Republican strategist, and the founding editor of Ms. Magazine, all of which make sense. However, Hugh Hefner’s bit is totally fucking hilarious. The only man to [...]

"Get Out Of There!" Montage Is The Best Thing I've Seen All Week

Although the Guy Bauer Half Hour’s “we’ve got company” montage was pretty good, the “get out of there!” montage is even better. Hh1edits, a video editor through Pajiba, created the four minute gem which contains clips ranging from Apocalypse Now, to Family Guy, to Honey, I Shrunk the Kids. You may already know hh1edits’ equally [...]

Freshway Foods Romaine Lettuce Not So Fresh

Everyone knows salad bars are fucking gross. First of all, food that sits there all day is undeniably recycled the next. Second of all, you never know who’s sneezing in or around the food. Then there’s little Johnny and his idiot parents who think he’s a perfectly civilized seven year old capable of serving himself, [...]

Roger Waters Issues Half-Assed Apology for Street Team Fuck Up

In preparation for his “Wall tour,” Roger Waters opted for a guerilla-style marketing campaign, commissioning a street team to post wheat pastings around New York and Los Angeles. However, it’s clear the street teamers haven’t listened to any music since The Wall came out nearly 30 years ago because they unknowingly defaced the famous Elliott [...]

The Suns to Protest AZ Immigration Law

Yes, the Arizona immigration law, which goes into affect in 90 days, has been discussed ad nauseum. However, the Phoenix Suns have come up with a refreshing, albeit hilarious way to protest. During game two today against the San Antonio Spurs, the Suns will don jerseys reading “Los Suns,” intentionally doing so on Cinco de [...]

Cinco de Mayo: Indulge In A Liquid Dinner

Eariler in the day, I received an invitation to sip on Patron after work. Confused, I berated my friend for being an alcoholic, not so politely pointing out that today is only Wednesday. Clearly, however, I am grossly ill-informed because today is the fifth of May, more popularly known as Cinco de Mayo. Yes, today [...]

Musician_ft

Robot Jams With Human Musicians

Maybe he’s not as cute as WALL-E, but Shimon is still pretty adorable and he can jam pretty well! Not only can Shimon play the marimba, he can improvise based on what other musicians around him are playing. Developed by Ryan Nikolaidis, a PhD student at the Georgia Tech Center for Music Technology, the robot uses complex algorithms to analyze the beat, tempo, and chord progressions of the music being played. From there, Shimon can create something that will enhance or compliment the music. He even acknowledges people around him, taking subtle cues from other musicians about their solos. Click through to check out the amazing video!

The Worst Drunken Idea Ever

Whether it’s through the movies or first hand, we’ve all seen some stupid drunken pranks, though most involve permanent markers or something relatively harmless. However, The Sun has officially reported one of the most horrific pranks gone awry. After a night out on the town, a 59 year old chef in China fell into a [...]

Free Comic Book Day

Although Record Store Day has come and gone, there are more festivities to be enjoyed this weekend with Free Comic Book Day! FCBD is celebrated on the first Saturday in May when comic book shops around the world release limited and special edition issues printed specifically for the event. Most issues are short previews of [...]

Burger King to Test Brunch Menu, Mimosas

Fast food chains are constantly coming up with new and “inventive” angles to sell their product. Take for instance, Taco Bell. They finally wised up to their stoner clientele, started staying “open late,” and capitalized on the “fourth meal.” Then there’s KFC who, after realizing no one gives a crap about their “healthy” grilled chicken, [...]

Danny Lives on A Billboard

Danny Silver is down on his luck, but he isn’t going to let that get him down… from his billboard. The Austin resident and former construction worker has been unable to work because of the demanding care his wife Maggie requires. To help him out and to gain awareness for other homeless people struggling in [...]

It's A Good Day for Childhood Myths; Nessie and Noah Top News Trends

When I was younger I had an inexplicable obsession with Unsolved Mysteries. Maybe it was the ominous theme song, maybe it was Robert Stack’s velvety voice, but despite crippling nightmares I would watch that show incessantly with my favorite episodes revolving around aliens and urban legends like the Chupacabra or Loch Ness monster. Well, my [...]

Sandra Bullock Adopts Baby Boy…

Let’s state the obvious: breakups suck and people deal with them in myriad ways. As a woman in her early twenties I thought I had seen it all; ice cream, binge drinking, day-long pajama fests, and the occasional rebound. However, Sandra Bullock proves me wrong. She went out and found herself a new (little) man, [...]

Listen to M.I.A.'s New Song, "Born Free"

Although there is no official information on the track, a new M.I.A. song leaked today. “Born Free” is a refreshing departure from her most well known single, “Paper Planes,” which catapulted on the charts after being featured in the Pineapple Express trailer. I guess she got sick of sounding like Lady Gaga. Like countless other [...]

Bear In Heaven Video Premiere for "Dust Cloud"

Like a handful of other indie artists forced to cancel their Coachella appearances, Bear In Heaven had a monkey wrench thrown into their European tour schedule thanks to that unpronounceable Icelandic volcano (Eyjaf… what?). However, instead of being pissed off by their “pure and unbreakable boredom,” the band used a shitty situation to their advantage. [...]

Funky Tut Revisits New York

New revelations about King Tut have made the boy king seem way less cool. Born of an incestuous relationship, scientists now report that Tut had a cleft pallet, and suffered from a rare bone disease and a club foot. Conspiracy theories widely circulated that Tut was murdered, though it is now believed he actually succumbed [...]

Dark Knight of the Soul Receives Official Release Date

Dark Knight of the Soul has already experienced plenty of circulation between online blogs and torrent sites. However, the Danger Mouse and Sparklehorse collaboration featuring a long list of indie artists has finally received an official release date. The album will be available via EMI’s Capital Records beginning July 13. Although the album was never [...]

Voice of GEICO Fired for Calling Tea Partiers "Retarded"

The voice of GEICO’s “fifteen minutes” slogan has been let go for voicing his opinion on FreedomWorks and its Tea Party members. Enraged by Tea Partiers’ racist and anti-gay comments, Douglas left FreedomWorks this voicemail asking about “the percentage of people that are mentally retarded who are working for FreedomWorks and who are following it.”