Author Archive
Snoop Dogg Revolutionizing the T-W-Double E-T
August 6th, 2010 by Chelsea Fisher
Snoop Dogg is Tweeting Videos at whoever the hell he wants and it’s hilarious.
Has anyone been exposed to the Snoop Dogg Twitter videos? They’re funny, sort of witty and mostly difficult to understand — all the things we love about the D-O-double G. The formula: Snoop makes a statement to a famous person and follows it with, “Ya dig?”
Watch the vids, and support Snoop in his quest to help Al Gore clear the atmosphizzle.
John Goodman Now Fits In My Thumbnail Image Size
August 6th, 2010 by Chelsea Fisher
I’ve been wanting to write about John Goodman for a while now, but he just wouldn’t fit in a thumbnail size image. Lucky for me Goodman has lost over one hundred pounds, and is looking smaller and healthier than he has in a long time.
John Goodman has always been large. There were times when he made Roseanne Barr look like a normal-sized woman, which takes a lot — lets be real.
Goodman admitted to Letterman Wednesday night that he, at one point, was tipping the scales at 400 pounds. Holy macrel that’s a whole lotta John. Though he is getting plenty of exercise and trying to keep off, and even lose more weight, the “Big Lebowski” star promised, “I’m not going to look like Paris Hilton or anything like that.” Phew, thanks for the reassurance John, I think we can all agree that we don’t need anyone else who looks like Paris Hilton.
Warren Buffet Gets 40 Of America’s Billionaires to Donate Half Their Wealth
August 6th, 2010 by Chelsea Fisher
Warren Buffet makes a few calls and gets billions, just for being himself.
Warren Buffet’s Giving Pledge Campaign announced yesterday that it had received pledges from forty of America’s richest people to donate some of their private money for philanthropic reasons. Buffet, when speaking of his success has said, “my wealth has come from a combination of living in America, some lucky genes, and compound interest.” Thanks Warren for the enlightening advice, if only my genes were worth $47 billion (no offense, mom).
Nonetheless Buffet has set the stage for giving, saying “the reaction of my family and me to our extraordinary good fortune is not guilt, but rather gratitude. Were we to use more than 1 percent of my claim checks on ourselves, neither our happiness nor our well-being would be enhanced. In contrast, that remaining 99 percent can have a huge effect on the health and welfare of others. That reality sets an obvious course for me and my family: Keep all we can conceivably need and distribute the rest to society, for its needs.”
With a few phone calls, letters, and his general influence on society Buffet has popularized giving and made jumping on the giving bandwagon sound fun. New York’s very own Bloomberg, who is worth an estimated 17.5 billion, said it didn’t make sense to leave everything to his children and have them go through life as members of “the lucky sperm club.” Does that mean Bloomberg thinks his sperm is lucky? I wouldn’t be surprised, but it is true that you can ruin a child’s life by giving them no incentive to do anything with their lives whatsoever.
There are few defined rules for Buffet’s giving pledge campaign, the money can be used for pretty much everything. But does teaming up a bunch of richsters mean good for society? Though there is no pooling of money involved will they have influence on one another’s decisions? If the terms of the foundation are not defined could this money end up helping a few foundations in grandios ways, rather than spreading the love and helping society as a whole?
These are all questions that will be answered, but whatever happens the “top down” idea coming from Buffet and the Gates foundation at least means that money will be used better than gaining interest in a small percent of bank accounts throughout the country. This is no end to world hunger, but it sounds like a pretty cool idea to me. If Warren Buffet can continue to use his calm and collected influence over not only other rich people but also America, I hope he continues to do so.
Kanye West’s “Power” Video: I’m A God!
August 6th, 2010 by Chelsea Fisher
Kanye West subjects us to his god-like powers in new video.
Kanye West’s “Power” video is a self portrait of how he sees himself, a god. And of course, being the fly rapper that he is, beautiful angelic women are surrounding him. Throw in a few swords and you’ve got a hit. I would be angry about the video if it wasn’t so beautifully done. It’s brevity also makes you want to watch it over and over again. Can’t wait until he releases the full length version.
Put Shat on That! New A&E Talk Show Reveals Captain Kirk’s Interrogation Skills
July 30th, 2010 by Chelsea Fisher
The Priceline Negotiator can not only get you a good deal on your hotel stay, he can also get notorious criminals to release previously unknown information.
In his new show called “Aftermath” on A&E, William Shatner does follow-up interviews with people who made headlines a couple of years earlier. In his most recent interview, The Shat interviewed one of the infamous D.C. snipers, Lee Boyd Malvo, from jail.
The inmate confessed to Shatner that he and the other convicted gunman, John Muhammad, had co-conspirators, and were even involved in other shootings. Read the rest of this entry »
North Korean Soccer Team Gets Punished for Sucking
July 30th, 2010 by Chelsea Fisher
Today North Korea forced its soccer team to sit for a six-hour interrogation before 400 people to determine what went wrong in its dismal World Cup appearance.
This is apparently “getting off lightly” by North Korean standards, as failed athletes in the past have been rumored to go to prison camps. Read the rest of this entry »
Obama’s Appearance on “The View” Still Better Than Palin
July 30th, 2010 by Chelsea Fisher
So just about everyone was weary of Obama going on “The View.”
The world watched as the hosts groveled over the president, interrupting his answers to ensure they got to ask him their own personal questions. And we all saw that Barbara Walters was a little upset when Obama decidedly said none of them would be invited to his daughters’ weddings (which will, by the way, will probably happen long after Bawbwa is dead.)
Even though it was maybe not Obama’s finest moment, Sarah Palin tweeted in response to his appearance, and reminded us that nothing is worse than her. Read the rest of this entry »
Cheney Needs A Heart Replacement, And So Do These Other Dicks
July 16th, 2010 by Chelsea Fisher
Dick Cheney has had five heart attacks since 1978. His heart failure on Thursday called for a left ventricular assist device, LVAD for short, a device that pretty much does the muscle work for his heart and keeps it pumping. But the best cure for heart failure is a straight up transplant, and Dick is considering it. Though Cheney is one of the last people that deserves a transplant, he is probably also one of the first people I would think of that needs a new heart. So doctors, maybe you should stop keeping the old one running and give him a new one. In fact, this should have happened a long time ago. Here is a list of other people that should probably get heart transplants to make the world a better place. Read the rest of this entry »
If I Wanna be Fat, I'll Eat This Foot-Long Cheeseburger
July 12th, 2010 by Chelsea Fisher
Carl’s Junior is now trying out a footlong burger, you know, just to see how it fares. In the wake of the KFC Double Down, the cold war of fast food restaurants continues, but it has taken a drastic step away from the healthy fast food trend. Subway, McDonalds, as well as the good old combination Taco Bell and Pizza Hut all created healthier options for our continually growing (physically, that is) nation. But maybe making healthy options available at fast food restaurants is not the answer, maybe the Double Down is a renaissance of good old American fast food, and it might actually be a good thing. Read the rest of this entry »
Octopi are Cool Not Only Because They Predict The Outcome Of The World Cup
July 12th, 2010 by Chelsea Fisher
Now that the World Cup is over we can officially say that Paul the octopus was right, about everything! Earlier in the cup we wrote about Paul the psychic octopus’s emerging celebrity status, as he had predicted all of Germany’s wins and losses at that point. He then later went on to predict that Germany would lose to Spain, and even that Spain would win the cup! Sure, maybe it was just luck, but to choose 100% right is a 1/300 chance! We here at Death+Taxes decided to get a little Discovery Channel today and show you just how cool Octopi are. It turns out that not only can they can predict the outcome of The World Cup, but they’re completely badass in lots of ways! Continue reading for some serious cephalapod siting. Read the rest of this entry »
Fuggedaboutit! Ex-Blocker Makes it Easy to Stop Obsessing
July 9th, 2010 by Chelsea Fisher
Thanks to the folks at Stuff Hipsters Hate, a new site called Ex-blocker makes breaking up a lot easier, at least as far as internet stalking goes. Ex boyfriends/girlfriends can be pretty much the last thing you want to think about, but they’re always the first thing you look up on Facebook! You can pretend your ex is dead but if your twitter feed relentlessly reminds you otherwise you can use ex-blocker’s comprehensive twitter, facebook, blog system that blocks them all from your browser! For those of you that get obsessed over one-month relationships, choose wisely, you can only upload up to five exes.
Why The Biebs Should Have Gone to North Korea
July 7th, 2010 by Chelsea Fisher
According to Justin Bieber’s rep, he is totally not going to North Korea. After some dweebs at 4chan succesfully hacked into the My World Tour Contest and brought North Korea to the top, Biebs does not plan on going to the communist state. What a shame! The Canadian pop sensation could have really enoyed his time over there. Why, you ask? Because he has more in common with Kim Jong-il, the misguided leader of North Korea than you think. Read the rest of this entry »
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