Coldplay Fans Not Eager to Have Sex
If you’re trying to touch a girl’s butt—and who isn’t these days?—the first thing you should think about asking her is whether or not she likes Coldplay.
Author Archive
Doritos Locos Tacos Join Pantheon of Crazy Taco Bell ‘Food’
I’m expecting this thing to taste exactly like Doritos’ delicious “Tacos at Midnight” flavored chips; after all, it is the time to eat Taco Bell, stoned and desirous of fake cheese.
Haiku Review: TV on the Radio’s ‘Nine Types of Light’
New album reviewed in five syllables, then seven, then five again.
Mississippi Republicans: Interracial Marriage Should be Illegal
The hits just keep on coming.
Haiku Review: Ponytail’s ‘Do Whatever You Want All the Time’
New album reviewed in five syllables, then seven, then five again.
The Government Shutdown is About Abortion and Pollution
Money ain’t a thing.
Fascist NZ Health Experts Block Breakfast Beer’s Shine
It’s common knowledge that being sober is no way to start the day. But apparently, that’s not something they teach in medical school.
Rachel Maddow: Insane Indiana Abortion Bill Says ‘Accurate’ Info Unnecessary
New state law forces doctors to tell women considering abortions that the procedure incurs a greater risk for breast cancer. In related news, lying is now an okay thing to do.
Paul Ryan’s Budget Swags All Over Washington
Republicans propose $6 trillion in spending cuts, then proceed to hit their dougie.
Counterpoint: Dead Mouse Proves ‘Monster’ the Most Extreme Energy Drink
So there’s a dead mouse in one person’s can of the sweet nectar that is Monster energy drink. Boo fucking hoo.
Odd Future Enter the 4th Chamber
Hodgy Beats and Domo Genesis rap over classic RZA beat. Topics include having sex.
Republican Leadership Spends Money Between Calls to Stop Spending Money
Bill restoring funds to a D.C. voucher program highlights degree to which John Boehner is filled with bovine excrement.
Fat Ho Burgers: Existential Solace in a World Devoid of Meaning
For Camus, it was a task. For Dostoevky, it was a deity. For the rest of us, it’s Fat Ho Burgers.
2012 Hopefuls Making Love to the Money
There’s an election happening in 19 months, which means it’s time to make it rain on a bunch of old white people and one or two black guys.
New Dum Dum Girls Video Prompts Wrong Kind of Acid Flashback
In case you’ve taken hallucinogens today, here’s a music video full of flowers, girls and psychedelic swirls. It’s also a complete and utter rip-off.
BP Honchos Could Face Manslaughter Charges
Can we charge BP with manslaughter for all those workers who died in last year’s Deepwater Horizon explosion? When management is negligent, maybe.
Joan as Police Woman’s ‘The Deep Field’ Reviewed in Haiku
New album reviewed in five syllables, then seven, then five again.
Exposing NPR’s Conservative Bias
NPR has never aired non-critical segments allowing conservative pundits and politicians the chance to speak. I mean, as long as you don’t count all these…
Gaddafi Promises to Liberate Benghazi From…Someone?
Today in crazy: Libyan “leader” Muammar Gaddafi promises the city of Benghazi, “We are coming tonight, and we will have no mercy.”
