Harrison Ford in critical condition after crashing plane into golf course

Ford is said to have suffered head injuries and was taken to the hospital after two doctors who happened to be playing golf on the course tended to him.
In News by Maggie Serota / March 5, 2015

Man flashes dick in Target parking lot because ‘he wants to find a lady’

He told police that "they like when he does that," which might not be entirely accurate.
In News by Brian Abrams / March 5, 2015

German spy taps leak

German spy agency slips up and loses taps to petty thieves.
In News by Regina Bresler / March 5, 2015

Man burned while praying over fajitas can’t sue Applebee’s

In prayer-related injury news...
In News by Maggie Serota / March 5, 2015

McDonald’s can’t afford to pay indie bands at SXSW showcase

They "don't have the budget," and are hoping that musicians will sell out merely for the exposure.
In Music by Joe Veix / March 5, 2015

Couple caught banging in sex museum’s ‘Fifty Shades’ exhibit

This might fall under the category of uncurated performance art.
In News by Regina Bresler / March 5, 2015

Florida governor quits fight to drug test welfare applicants

“I don’t know, it just isn’t fun anymore,” the governor probably said.
In News by Drew Salisbury / March 5, 2015

North Korea calls razor attack on U.S. ambassador ‘justice’

The assailant reportedly shouted "South and North Korea should be reunified," before attacking Lippert.
In News by Maggie Serota / March 5, 2015

Presidential candidate walks back ‘prison gay’ comments

This retired neurosurgeon is obviously a really smart guy who has an actual chance at being president.
In News by Drew Salisbury / March 5, 2015

Method Man on Wu-Tang’s 88-year copyright: ‘Fuck that album!’

When asked for his thoughts on the 88-year copyright restriction, Method Man said, "Whoever said that, that shit is fuckin’ stupid."…
In Music by Joel Freimark / March 5, 2015

Seth Meyers gets your mom on fleek

Seth Meyers brings the late-night set up-to-date on teen slang, so your texts with mom are about to get weird.
In Entertainment by Regina Bresler / March 5, 2015

Delta plane skids off icy LaGuardia runway, crashes into fence

None of the 175 people on board were seriously injured.
In News by Joe Veix / March 5, 2015

Action Bronson kills it in interview, talks sex and clotheslines

Action Bronson, poster-child for weed as performance-enhancing drug, talks groupies and stage-combat.
In Music by Regina Bresler / March 5, 2015

Jeb Bush’s foreign policy team is full of warmongers

Many served as officials in previous Bush administrations.
In News by Drew Salisbury / March 5, 2015
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