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The internationally renowned lobster shack will be increasing the amount of seafood it sells in an apparent attempt to not confuse those who thought they were in for an enjoyable steak dinner.

They describe the end product as “appalling,” a “mushy, unappealing product that is well below competitors’ quality despite similar cost.

“I’ve … never something like this,” explains Lt. Jason Bell. “I really haven’t had a lot of investigations where I’ve focused so much on cheeseburgers.

Just be glad they didn’t use dung oil.

Primarily intended to cater to “ochobo,” Japanese for “small, modest mouth,” usually on women, Freshness Burger has introduced a wrapper that helps tolerate friends and family at the dinner table.

“Live Mas,” said Taco Bell, and we all listened.

I don’t think this is what Taco Bell’s new racially correct marketing slogan Live Más meant.

A Cincinnati, Ohio church is offering quick ashes for those too busy to sit through the service.

This is what happens when you forget a stranger’s favorite condiments.

I’m expecting this thing to taste exactly like Doritos’ delicious “Tacos at Midnight” flavored chips; after all, it is the time to eat Taco Bell, stoned and desirous of fake cheese.

For Camus, it was a task. For Dostoevky, it was a deity. For the rest of us, it’s Fat Ho Burgers.

Recently, I decided to stop eating meat, which is huge for this meatloaf-and-gravy-lover.