Best new artists of 2014

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Texas plumber’s truck somehow winds up embroiled in Syria conflict

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Is this a ransom email from Sony’s real hackers?

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He could face life in prison.

Maybe the two men didn’t see the camera, or more likely, they just didn’t care.

He doesn’t just tell us the weather; he tells us how to feel about the weather.

The more you know.

Maybe it’s a philosophical question, like “how many roads must a man walk down?”

Maybe we’re witnessing the start a hip new restaurant trend.

Sadly, lasagna disasters are on the rise this year.

Maybe waiting for the headline is the story?

Now, when someone tells you that you should go eat a dick, you can casually invite them to lunch.

This is what our news has devolved into. We’re doomed.

Meanwhile, Hugh Janus sits at home, alone, shedding a silent tear.

Life as we know it will never be the same.

After a prison guard punched him in the face.

Ken M. called into C-SPAN for their report on SAT scores, complaining about how his son’s low “STD” scores couldn’t even get him into Harvard.