If you live in America and eat cookies, cake, salad dressing, bread, muffins or donuts you probably have a pretty high body-fat percentage so do us a favor and keep your shirt on. Also, these things contain eggs so you’re in all likelihood going to die.

I eat roughly 42 eggs a week. Will you be at my funeral?

As the world turns, the Year of the Recall continues, this time with the most popular and versatile breakfast food: eggs.

Everyone knows salad bars are fucking gross. First of all, food that sits there all day is undeniably recycled the next. Second of all, you never know who’s sneezing in or around the food. Then there’s little Johnny and his idiot parents who think he’s a perfectly civilized seven year old capable of serving himself, [...]

Attention all Pringles connoisseurs who have recently been satisfying their late night munchies by chomping down on the Cheeseburger and Taco Night flavors.  Your intake of Pringles’ innovative flavors and your recent bouts with anal leakage and vomiting are probably not purely coincidental.  In fact, odds are you might have salmonella. Giving new meaning to [...]