Soulja Boy Replaces Tupac in ‘Juice’ Remake

This isn’t a joke.

Soulja Boy Replaces Tupac in 'Juice' Remake

This week in poor decisions: Atlanta-based rapper, Soulja Boy, known primarily for chart-topping, swag-centric and substance-free hits like “Crank That,” “Kiss Me Thru the Phone,” “Turn My Swag On” and “Pretty Boy Swag” has made the questionable decision to remake the 1992 Tupac classic film “Juice.”

Now I might be using the word “classic” a little too loosely, but one thing is for sure, Tupac Shakur’s volatile performance in in the urban drama is frequently praised. Rolling Stone’s Peter Travers even described Shakur as “magnetic.”

Whenever a terrible remake idea surfaces one must ask the question: How did this harebrained decision come about? Thankfully XXL asked for us, and the answer is, of course, unbelievably shortsighted.

The Juice thing went along with my mixtape. I got the idea first for the mixtape. Let me tell you the whole story, I was in California watching the Juice movie and I called my barber to get the Bishop haircut. Then I TwitPiced the photo and everybody went, “Ahh, man, Soulja got the Juice cut.” So I knew I had to make a mixtape. So I got in the studio and got with DJ Scream, recorded the mixtape. 450,000 downloads the first two days. After that I was like, I need to do this movie. If I do this movie and I play Bishop, I’ma tear it up, man. At the same time I’m promoting me doing music in a positive way but at the same time I’ll be breaking into the acting field. Basically, killing the bird with one stone so that’s why I picked the Juice thing.

Let me get this straight. Soulja saw “Juice,” called his barber, got the ill Bishop cut, made a mixtape because of the haircut, it got downloaded a bunch, and now feels he owes it to the world to remake the film to accompany the mixtape? Which means he’s tarnishing a beloved film starring arguably one of—if not the—greatest rapper of all-time because he got a fuckin’ haircut. Wow.

He even got the metaphor completely wrong: “Killing the bird with one stone?” It’s two damn birds and one damn stone, Soulja! Everyone knows that killing one bird with one stone hasn’t been remotely impressive in centuries.

Maybe I’m being too hard on Soulja Boy. The 20-year-old has put out some fun music, and that’s nothing to thumb your nose at. He even created the best rap dance of 2008. So you know he’s got some serious credentials. Maybe he has an amazing vision for the film with some great casting ideas?

Well, so far he’s revealed one co-star — Waka Flocka Flame. And the screenwriter? The same guy who wrote 50 Cent’s brilliant drama “Gun.” Hows that for credibility? At least we can take solace in the fact that it’ll be so tremendously bad that no one will see it.

Soulja Boy is no Tupac, in any way, shape or form. He couldn’t even hold his bandana.

Man, if Pac were alive to see this…