Scuba Diver Searches the Sea for Osama bin Laden

Scuba Bill and the Tomb of bin Laden

Scuba Diver Searches the Sea for Osama bin Laden

The Obama Administration’s decision to withhold photographs of Osama bin Laden’s corpse immediately spread the accusation that bin Laden’s death was a conspiracy; that bin Laden might not actually be dead. Bin Laden’s corpse was then quickly buried in the North Arabian sea on May 2, with the US claiming it was out of respect for his Muslim faith.

The results were eminent: photoshopped pictures of his dead body, infographs detailing his assassination, essays on speculations and points of view from the heroic Navy SEALs. But one such outcome of the chosen burial seemed both definite and outlandish—searching the waters for bin Laden.

It was only a matter of time before someone like Bill Warren, a middle-aged American with unlimited money, scuba-diving expertise, a 150 ft boat, high tech equipment, the funding of investors in Chicago, Scotland and New York, and a lot of time, to set out and debunk a mystery that could entirely reshape everything about this assassination.

The feat will cost an alleged $11,000 a day, and Warren estimates spending a half a million by the end of it. His boat is currently idling in the Indian Ocean and is decked out with equipment similar to that which found the Titanic.

Warren isn’t concerned that the body has decomposed, “The fish can’t get at it. He’s in a sealed Navy burial bag, zipped up, white canvas, rubber-lined inside, 200lbs of lead weight.” Finding a white canvas bag under similarly colored-sand would seem near impossible if it weren’t for the side scan sonar and the countless days and hours Warren is going to spend searching.

If he finds the body he’s going to “photograph, videotape, do a DNA test and then try and figure out what we’re gonna do with the body.” I’m unsure of why Warren thinks he has either the right or obligation to do anything with the body and I’m not sure about the intricacies of deep sea grave-robbing, nor am I sure what laws in general he’ll break if he finds and tampers with bin Laden’s body—but I am almost positive this is going to anger a lot of people.

In fact, I don’t believe Warren will even live through his expedition.

If the body isn’t there he’s going to be executed by Navy SEALs to preserve the secret. If the body is there he’s going to be murdered by al Qaeda for tampering with a relic. Either way, with his pricey boat and expensive equipment, he’s going to be held hostage and killed by pirates. These are only threats of course if he escapes inevitable shark attacks and sting ray shots to the heart.