Comcast ‘Internet Essentials’ Should Inspire College Lunch Program

Comcast unveils a new program making internet service available for those who have trouble affording lunch. I propose Comcast makes lunch available to those who have trouble affording their cable and internet.

Comcast 'Internet Essentials' Should Inspire College Lunch Program

Comcast, the cable and internet provider more readily known for its spotty customer service and recent unnerving merger with NBC-Universal, unveiled its beacon of good will for 2011 in its “Internet Essentials” program, which offers basic Internet connectivity services for low-income families.

The program is highly affordable and, from all surface appearances, a commendable step in Comcast’s progress towards diversity outreach by “taking aim at what has become a 21st Century Civil Rights issue — broadband adoption,” as stated on Comcast’s official blog.

The new program was inspired by Comcast’s diversity initiatives, albeit required as a condition of its NBC merger. The program offers a relatively speedy internet connection for $9.95 per month (plus tax) for families with at least one child receiving free school lunches through the National School Lunch Program, with no fear of price increases, activation fees or equipment rental fees. Additionally, new customers can purchase a “netbook-style laptop computer” at initial registration for about $150.

Hands down, this is one hell of a deal for the Internet-deprived. Comcast’s diversity obligations have manifested beautifully as an affordable Internet-providing service for families in dire enough straits to rely on government aid for its children’s lunches.

In this rapidly-evolving Age of Information, children being left uninformed and undeveloped technologically will fall by the wayside later in life, all because their parents had to choose groceries over a new Macbook. A resounding “Bravo” to you, Comcast.

Now for the encore: I’m calling for a “nourishment deployment” initiative for loyal Comcast subscribers on college campuses nationwide. Students maintaining the cable and internet connectivity required of most colleges are often left undeveloped metabolically, incorporating peanut butter into endless recipes to compensate for protein sufficiency.

Too familiar are we as a nation with the archetype of a broke, hungry college student—signing up for different credit cards weekly in order to exploit a free pizza, waiting in an hours-long line for a $5 sandwich being sold at a mob-inducing $1. Yes, the four dollar difference means that much to the malnourished academic.

The oft-forgotten demographic of Comcast subscribers within that group needs to speak up. Too long have we endured hours on hold with Comcast’s highly outdated musical selections. Too tedious are the live chat room conversations we’re then forced to endure in an effort to talk to someone, anyone who can tell us what the hell the Pig Latin-encoded error message on our television screens means.

I applaud your diversity efforts, Comcast, making Internet available to those who can barely afford lunch. Now is the time to continue pioneering and make lunch available to those who can barely afford your Internet.

And by the way, I’m still on hold.