Ashton Kutcher will play Steve Jobs in a new biopic

Yes, you read that title correctly. Ashton Kutcher, star of “Two and a Half Men,” who rose to fame in a state-wide search for the “Fresh Face of Iowa” will play perhaps the greatest American luminary of the last century, Steve Jobs, in an upcoming biopic called “Jobs.” Mashable reports that while Variety broke the news yesterday, April 1, this is not an April Fool’s joke.

Thankfully this isn’t the Jobs biopic—the one being adapted from Walter Isaacson’s biography. That one, being developed by Sony Pictures, will probably be called “Steve Jobs,” and with any luck will be written by Aaron Sorkin as rumored and directed by David Fincher. Hopefully,it will star someone who looks a little bit like Jobs but is universally respected, like, say, Eric Bana. This “Jobs” movie is directed by Joshua Michael Stern, who made “Swing Vote.”

I guess Steve Jobs was a large enough figure to warrant two biopics. And Ashton Kutcher does have a couple things going for him: First, he does sort of look like the young Steve Jobs. Second, he’s at least a technology enthusiast, having dabbled in venture capitalism and invested in companies like Foursquare, GroupMe, and Flipboard. But, you know, he’s Ashton Kutcher, star of “Two and a Half Men,” a show Jobs himself would have dismissed with contempt as “total shit.”

This might not be the definitive Jobs movie, but if you’re really hankering (or have been too lazy to read Isaacson’s epic biography), this one should be out first: Mashable notes it’s set to start production next month, whereas the official Jobs movie, based on Isaacson’s book, hasn’t even confirmed a writer or director yet.