Hot dog stuffed crust pizza comes with free mustard drizzle!

We usually spend our weekends napping, eating pancakes and pretending the internet doesn’t exist, which is great, except when we miss stuff like this: on Friday Gist introduced U.K. Pizza Hut’s pig-in-a-blanket-in-a-pizza, or in the company’s words, a “succulent hot dog stuffed crust with a FREE mustard drizzle.” Aaahhhg!

If you’re anything like us, you’re equal parts appalled and intrigued, and also a little proud that this particular junk food mash-up didn’t originate in the U.S. at a Texas state fair or with Paula Deen. Thanks, Japan!

We’re also asking “Why?” Not as an existential question, but rather why combine two snacks which are already complete and perfect in their own right? Why put mustard on your pizza crust instead of creating something new? Has the human race made all the perfect junk foods that will ever exist? Is combining old snacks all we have left? That would explain the Doritos Locos Tacos, and tacos with bacon for shells, and the hamburger with donuts for buns, and Paula Deen’s ice cream sundae pizza recipe.

I guess all we can do is sit back and wait for what’s next. Maybe a hamburger with calzones for buns? A BLT with fried dough bread?