Stress makes men appreciate heavier women, study finds

A study has found what my web browser’s history already knows: in times of stress, men appreciate heavier women.

Most men would tell you, if they were being honest, that a heavier woman is just more attractive than a rail-thin supermodel. Why? Because that kind of standard of beauty may be entirely pleasant but anyone over 15 could tell you that that standard of beauty is entirely unrealistic and the more that we are attracted to (sorry) freakish standards, the less attracted to actual humans we are. Something something Japanese love pillows.

I mean, look, when it comes to this kind of thing, I’m for everyone, equal opportunity for all, “I wouldn’t kick anyone out of bed” etc, but you can’t cuddle with a stick of celery with two toothpicks coming out of it and a smiley face made of raisins, can you? People want to hear sensual saxophone solos, not a ditty on a piccolo. I say: cheeseburgers for everyone, and then a bike for later. There’s a happy medium there. It’s good to have some meat on your bones but it’s good to get outside and exercise, too. Didja hear that ladies? A guy in an article is telling you how you should look. Currently awaiting massive amounts of backlash from the femiblogosphere. Gosh I am NEVER going to run for office now, am I? Anyway.

PhysOrg sums it up neatly, with no bad jokes like I’m doing:

The researchers, led by Viren Swami of the University of Westminster in London, compared how stressed versus non-stressed men responded to pictures of female bodies varying from emaciated to obese. They found that the stressed group gave significantly higher ratings to the normal weight and overweight figures than the non-stressed group did, and that the stressed group generally had a broader range of figures they found attractive than the non-stressed group did. These results, the authors write, are consistent with the idea that people idealize mature morphological traits like heavier body size when they experience an environmental threat such as stress.