Vlad Putin to lead annual migration of large birds, naturally

Pussy who? Pussy Riot? Does’t ring a bell—no clue what you’re talking about.

Vladimir Putin is getting ready to engage in his latest feat of Hardy Boy heroism as he straps into an ultralight glider and leads a group of cranes raised in captivity on their first annual southern migration.

You see, this flock of birds are weaklings. They have no idea where they are going. They need a strong and fearless leader to guide them. And guide them Putin will. Telegraph reports that when Putin visits scientists to join the crane migration next week, “the Russian president could even take the controls of the lead glider, effectively becoming the chief crane of the group.”

Are you getting the metaphor here?

Between his tiger hunting, bare-hand-frying-pan-bending, deep-sea treasure diving and now migration leading, Putin is seriously starting to take on the ridiculous sheen of North Korea’s late-great Fearless Leader Kim Jong-Il. Both leaders have seemed to want to keep their people in line by making them believe they are being governed by Superman.

“An aide to Mr Putin confirmed the president had recently undertaken glider training,” writes the Telegraph. A scientist leading the study said, “The role of the pilot is the role of the leader. He shows the flight path.”

Ok, we get it, Jesus, Vlad—you’re the leader. Funny how the guy flying the glider is the leader, and not the scientist leading the study, but whatever.

Meanwhile… more photos of Pussy Riot demonstrations around the world.