Iggy Pop’s 28-page tour rider is one of the most glorious things in the history of rock

There are a few fun things you might not know about Iggy Pop. For instance, you might not know that his 1990 album “Brick By Brick” features a track called “Butt Town,” whose chorus, sung seemingly without a hint of irony, goes, “When you live in Butt Town, life is a let down.”

Another fun thing you might not know about Iggy Pop is that the rider on his 2012 tour for Iggy and the Stooges is a 28-page surrealist treatise that reads something like “Waiting for Godot” if it took place in a beer-and-cigarette stained rock arena rather than on a wooded hillside.

Here’s the band’s preference for Laney bass amplifiers:

Please make sure they’re good ones or we’ll all end up as wormlike web-based life forms in the bass player’s online literary diahorrea. Honestly. He’s like a sort of internet Pepys or Boswell, except without the gout and the syphilis. For all I know. (I bet I know what you are thinking. You’re thinking “Laney Bass Gear? I didn’t know Laney made bass gear.” Well, they do! And very good it is too. Some time, you should try it out, and if you run a hire company, you should buy some and start renting them. They make Ampeg gear sound like er… Ampeg gear. Anyway that’s not the point is it? If you were thinking what I thought you were thinking, i.e. that you don’t have any Laney bass gear, we will have to have Ampeg instead, won’t we? Happy now?)

Here’s the request that amplifiers be tested before the show:

Also, could you make sure they have been tested recently And when I say “recently,” I don’t mean “sometime in the three weeks preceding the occasion when it fell 3 metros off the top shelf in the warehouse as we were fork-lifting it back up, after it came back from that Inane Clown Pussy gig where they had the ‘Piss On The Live Amplifier Competition’ (If you make smoke and sparks come out, and you are still alive afterwards, we’ll give you a bottle of Miller Lite. And a go on the band’s skateboard. And some clown make up. And Hepatitis B…) The sound it made as it hit the concrete!! BAD-OI-OI-OING!!! How we laughed.”

Here’s the band on lighting:

This was written by someone who doesn’t really know what he’s talking about. I cannot tell a lie. Lights-wisely speaking, I’m an absolute arse-head. …We don not have a lighting designer, or lighting person of any kind. We had a lighting designer once, but he went mad, so we shot him. It was the kindest thing. Now he’s a light of a different kind, one of God’s little Gobos in Dimmer Heaven.

After saying he knows nothing about lighting the rider’s author proceeds to write for 3 full pages about lighting and color preferences—by far the biggest dedicated section of the rider.

It’s pretty incredible—you should really do yourself a favor and cruise through the rest of it at The Smoking Gun.