This week in litigation: The people vs. Ikea Monkey

DO NOT read this post without clicking the SoundCloud embed below. Otherwise the story won’t make sense.

OK. Carry on.

CBC News in Toronto reported this week that an Ontario Superior Court will hear the defendant¬†Yasmin Nakhuda’s claim that Toronto Animal Services “unlawfully” took her Japanese macaque after the hilarity that ensued last week at Ikea.

Since the incident, the shearling coat-clad monkey — his name is Darwin, BTW — has been residing at the Story Brook Farm Primate Sanctuary in Sunderland, Ontario, roughly an hour and a half north of the boy’s hometown.

Story Brook Farm launched a fundraising campaign to help keep Darwin and had this to say:

I was found wandering the parking lot scared and confused on Sunday Dec 9th.
I am only a baby and had no idea where I was.
The kind people at Story Book Farm Primate Sanctuary took me in and are providing me with a permanent, loving home where I can learn from other monkey’s and I am told may have a surrogate mother!!!
I am so happy to finally be able to live and act like a real monkey!
Story Book farm did not expect to get me for Christmas and we could desperately use funds to help pay for my care as well as the other amazing monkey friends I have made.

A compelling case, to be sure; but Darwin didn’t write that. I’m assuming the people at the Sanctuary did. Meanwhile, defendant Nakhuda, a real estate attorney by profession, filed a claim Thursday that states the authorities had no right to take the monkey. “The officer’s refusal to return Darwin was unlawful because the Code does not authorize the officer to keep an animal other than dogs and cats,” it reads. “The only penalty under the Code is a fine. Animal Services therefore unlawfully detained Darwin.”

The motion also states that, if Darwin cannot be returned, Nakhuda should be allowed “reasonable access on a schedule to be fixed by this court.”
This week in litigation: The people vs. Ikea Monkey
Nakhuda and Darwin would often brush their teeth together. (via)

Nakhuda and her husband are also willing to relocate to a more monkey-friendly environment, such as Kawartha Lakes, Ontario, where monkeys can live without legal recourse.

Do you think Nakhuda should be able to keep Darwin? If so, maybe reach out to star eyewitness Bronwyn Page and ask her to lie about seeing the animal at Ikea in the first place. Like it never happened. Yeah. That’ll work.

[h/t @BuzzFeedAndrew]