Scientists discover that parrots universally hate techno

So, for some reason far beyond my ken, some scientists got together to figure out what kind of music parrots like. As it turns out, parrots develop their own personal taste in music- some prefer classical, some prefer country, some like pop,  easy listening, etc., etc. Which I guess is neat. But there’s bad news for those of you who have always dreamed of dressing your pet parrot in candy necklaces and pacifiers and taking her out to a warehouse to see DJ Funkygrüves or whathaveyou: all of the parrots hate techno. While the parrots enjoy dancing, electronic dance music leaves them utterly distressed. Weirdly, the techno wasn’t originally a factor in the experiments, but the scientists were way into Prodigy and The Chemical Brothers themselves for some reason, and they noticed that whenever they played their own music the parrots would freak out. Huh. Well, now we know that. So let’s all watch a cockatoo get down to some Willow Smith, because why not.