Kim Kardashian is already selling her first baby pic

Well that was fast. It was just Sunday night that Kanye West spilled the beans that Kim Kardashian is pregnant—and it was just about 12 hours later on Monday, after a few obligatory tweets, that the Kardashian camp reportedly began soliciting bids from gossip mags for exclusive rights to the first Kimye baby pic.

NY Daily News reports that mother Kris Jenner was taking the lead in the effort, and a source told the paper, “(It) likely will sell at $300,000,” and then continued, strangely, “that’s Kim solo because Kanye always looks so miserable.”

It’s always strange when celebrities pay for their weddings by auctioning off the photo rights to gossip mags. It seems tacky and like it just cheapens the whole thing. But if you’re Kim Kardashian and your profession literally is visibility, it seems to make perfect sense. Her career exists for the sole purpose of being seen and being seen with her boyfriend and her baby, so the fact that she’s engineering the rights this early just seems like a symbiotic relationship with whatever buyer she ultimately goes with. It’s amazing—the gossip mags have finally found someone whose privacy they can’t invade, whose persona they can’t cheapen, because it was invented for their pages in the first place. Kind of a mind-fuck.

Anyway, live long and prosper, Kimye baby—your parents are machiavellian geniuses.