Selfie-loving XhardXcoreX musicians get called out for being thieving douchebags

Last week, a poorly photoshopped flier with the words “All Punks Bulletin” written at the top began circulating Twitter and Facebook to warn of two hardcore losers who apparently stole equipment from a band they played a DIY show with in Chicago.

DIY = MSPaint

DIY = MSPaint

The flier failed to mention any other pertinent information, such as their names or which band they play in, but comically informs us that xhardxcore musicians these days, who probably spend more money and time on their make-up and hair than writing quality songs, drive an equally xhardxcore vehicle: a white Ford Fit. Which isn’t actually a vehicle. But since the Ford Fiesta and the Honda Fit are basically the same thing, I understand the mistake.

Luckily, Rodrigo Palma, the most recent bassist for Saves the Day, tweeted the flier and included the suspects’ names: Johnny Estupigan and Alex Hedrick. A Google search yielded minimal information on the two alleged thieves, save for a seemingly inactive Myspace account for a band with a typically hardcore (read: lame) band name: Nancy Drew. They have songs titled “Michigan Hardcore Sux” and “Washing My Hair Was A Mistake”, both of which are just as excruciatingly horrible as you might imagine. According to their bio:

“Nancy Drew is a music group made up of longtime friends who met at a skatepark. They are here to bring excitement and something new to the scene. It is not what they have but what they do not have that sets them apart from every other hardcore band.”

And what they “do not have”, apparently, is equipment. Anyone who has ever played in a band before or has even had the slightest interest in DIY and independent music knows that stealing equipment is the mark of the lowest scumbag conceivable. After being lambasted all over various social media sites, Alex Hedrick posted the flier on his Facebook page with the caption “everything was returned safely.”

Too little, too late seemed to be the sentiment echoed by even their “closest” Facebook “friends”. The first comment in the thread happened to be the most logical:

“That doesn’t matter! Returning what you stole after you’re caught doesn’t make it okay.”

Amazingly, Alex responded with a brilliantly sound defense:

“We were tryin to find the people before any of this was posted”

Great idea, buddy. You show no remorse and insinuate the only reason you returned the stolen items was in fear of having your name and non-existent reputation dragged through the mud? What a solid dude! The rest of the thread continues to berate the two, with commenters claiming these guys have had many chances to get their act together and have failed to do so. In an unrelated post (a selfie in a doorway with the caption “Homestead”), taken ostensibly while “on the run”, Alex’s mom had this to say:

“Jill z. From R O called me at 11:00 this morning. They want to pick you up for running from the station last week . So they are looking for you now and have talked to west Bloomfield. They are looking at you as a criminal on the run and evading arrest. Breaks my heart. I know how you must feel but to do the right thing and turn yourself in sometime today. “

On Johnny’s Facebook, a familial rift between the two kids opened wide with both of their parents defending their own kin and breathing fire on the other. That thread can be read here, when Johnny posted “i will not live in fear” and includes such gems, from Alex’s mother, as: “Why did u have to take our son to hell with you ? Now he will drowned for sure in your sinking ship of drugs and alcohol !”

So keep an eye out for these eyesores, promoters and touring musicians. They’ve made it quite clear they’re no company to be kept. And thanks to their penchant for reflective-surface-selfies, we know all too gruesomely what these dicks look like:

Selfie-loving XhardXcoreX musicians get called out for being thieving douchebags