Florida man drinks Four Loko, takes dump in Burger King parking lot

A 35-year-old allegedly cooked up a whopper of his own last month outside a Burger King location in south Florida. According to a recently released arrest affidavit, Matthew Paul Emmett was “exposing himself to customers and stumbling through the parking lot.” Police later caught up to the suspect, who was caught lying in the grass surrounded by cans of Four Loko. He reeked.

WPTV in West Palm Beach reports:

One person told Sebastian police a man was partially exposing himself through the window of Burger King, which is home of the Whopper (630 calories/35 grams fat), Double Whopper (830 calories/50 grams fat) and Triple Whopper (1,020 calories/64 grams fat).

“Several other customers exited the restaurant and stated they thought the defendant was defecating on the sidewalk,” according to the affidavit.

Emmett was arrested on a misdemeanor disorderly intoxication charge. He looks like this: