Limbaugh connects Ohio kidnapping to Obama, welfare benefits … because ‘Hawaii 5-0′

Rush Limbaugh is just a freaking parody of himself. He really is. The thing that’s always surprising to me is that I know that if I were to imagine what terrible, convoluted thing he would say about a given topic, it would not be nearly as bizarre as what he actually says.

If I had to have guessed what terrible thing Limbaugh would say about the Ohio kidnappings, I would have figured he’d say something along the lines of “Oh, they were totally asking for it! All women secretly want to be kidnapped and raped repeatedly and kept in a basement! It’s just that the feminazis have brainwashed them into thinking they don’t!” or “These women should take it as a compliment!” or something. Maybe something racist about the kidnappers?

I would not have gone with welfare.

Limbaugh had some truly bizarre things to say about the Cleveland kidnapping incident Wednesday on his show- which, by the way, is hemorrhaging sponsors daily.

The thing is, he saw this episode of “Hawaii 5-0,” and in this particular episode of “Hawaii 5-0″ a couple was kidnapping children and then using them to get welfare benefits. This is of course a thing that happens in real life all the time, as kidnappers are always very quick to notify the government of their crimes.

So, at first he speculated that this was the perhaps reason that the kidnappings had occurred in the first place. You know, despite the fact that they didn’t file for welfare, and that Michelle Knight was 20 when she was taken. This, of course, is a possibility in Limbaugh-land, because the city of Cleveland voted for Obama… meaning that it is possible that the Castro brothers also voted for Obama. You know, so they could get welfare benefits for their kidnap victims who were all over the age of 18 for most of the time they kept them.

LOGIC!

But wait, there’s more. Limbaugh clocked the fact that Amanda Berry has a baby. Which means that if she files for welfare, she would get double benefits. Clearly, this whole thing has been a giant charade. These women probably got kidnapped on purpose and held in captivity for years and years just so that they could eventually partake in the glorious money shower that is the American Welfare system. In Ohio. Where the maximum monthly benefit is a whopping $434 dollars a month for a family of three, or $165 for an individual.

Some elaborate scam there!