Minnesota’s 10,000 lakes filled with cocaine, estrogen and anti-depressants

Some recent testing done on contaminates in Minnesota’s lakes has revealed that, rather than being the pure, wholesome, Rose Nylund-y bodies of water we’ve always thought they were, they actually have a bit of a substance problem. In that they are saturated in cocaine, synthetic estrogen, anti-depressants, carcinogenic swine antibiotics and insect repellent.

Which can only mean one thing, really. And that is that Minnesota is obviously having the best parties ever, and not inviting the rest of us.

Minnesota's 10,000 lakes filled with cocaine, estrogen and anti-depressants

Seriously, though. Does this explain Michele Bachmann’s crazy eyes?

1-en-63c8380e653f7174177aec1261008f9f

 

Joking aside, it turns out that 1/3 of the lakes tested in Minnesota are laced with cocaine, and 78% of them are filled with pesticides. Which is really not so good for either humans or aquatic life.