Tea Partiers hoping for a pity date with America after IRS scandal
Sicily America, 2009! As if out of nowhere (by nowhere we mean the Koch Brothers), hundreds of costumed historical reenactors jumped on the political scene, talking some drivel about how they didn’t want to pay taxes and Obama was a Secret Muslin with a forged birth certificate or whatever. It was hard to tell what they were on about, what with their limited spelling abilities and all.
It was a more innocent time. At first they even called themselves Teabaggers, having literally no idea that the word was also a term for a sexual act involving dipping one’s testicles onto the face of another. It was kind of adorable.
They even elected some of their own to actual political office. Like Michele Bachmann, Steve King and Marco Rubio, and all the other ridiculous human beings we make fun of on the daily.
And yet, no one really seems to take them seriously, primarily because everything about them is unendingly hilarious. Even FOX News has kind of given up on reporting on them. Karl Rove and friends are embarrassed by them and their propensity to say the kind of incredibly dumb, offensive to all humans kind of things that nice, normal, establishment Republicans only say behind closed doors.
It’s kind of seemed like the Tea Party is headed for extinction for a while now.
Well, break out your tri-cornered hats and breeches (or your pastel Kmart shants and embroidered 4th grade teacher vests!) because the Tea Party is making a comeback! Or, you know, they think they are.
In what will probably be the political version of “Melissa & Joey”, the Tea Partiers are hoping to be relevant and hip as a result of the IRS scandal that a whopping 54% of Americans are bothering to know something about!
From around the country last week, they headed Washington to hold a news conference on the Capitol steps and meet with members of Congress. Those who stayed home jammed House and Senate phone lines with calls urging congressional action as the IRS saga unfolded. An email from Teaparty.org that was sent to activists proclaimed: “We’ve worked so hard these past few years and it’s paying off! We’re witnessing the unraveling of a presidency at an unprecedented rate.”
Freedomworks, a national tea party group, spent the week circulating petitions for congressional hearings and encouraging leaders of local groups who believe they have been targeted by the IRS to include their story on a national database to build the case against the agency.
“Perhaps all this attention will break something loose,” said Jim Chiodo, an activist from Holland, Mich.
Yes. All this attention. I don’t know, I mean- my thing on the “scandal” is that, well, if I were the IRS and there were a bunch of people crying about how it’s not fair for them to pay any taxes ever, I might keep my eye on them a little bit. Just saying.
But I suppose that just means I’ll be left out when all the hip, fashionable kids on my block start galavanting around in powdered wigs and freaking out about death panels.