Will lady breadwinners doom civilization?! Some old dudes discuss!
Did you hear the shocking news this week that in 4 out of 10 families, the woman is the breadwinner? Did it give you the vapors and cause you to fall out of your seat? I mean, up until then, who had ever heard of ladies in the workplace! Making money like they have some kind of phallic appendage dangling between their legs? Why, that’s simply balderdash! Not to mention an obvious sign of the apocalypse. Thank goodness there are some smart mens around to tell us how terribly wrong this is.
First up, we have Bryan Fischer, who has graciously taken a break from fretting over the impending penetration of millions of Boy Scout buttholes and how the Mormons are secretly plotting to force us all have 15 wives each, to explain how man brains were designed for thinking and earning money, and ladybrains were designed for cleaning and raising children and making sammiches.
The problem of course, is not just with women working, but with women working and then outearning their husbands! Because that will stress the man out, as he puts a lot of value on succeeding at his vocation. So, ladies, if you don’t want your husband to stress out and leave you for a mail-order-bride who knows her place, you should immediately ask your boss for a pay cut. To save your marriage!
Next up we have Lou Dobbs and the guys over at Fox News, who are also concerned about how women are destroying the fabric of society by having jobs and such.
Erick Erickson of Erickville, Ericksylvania makes a good point here. Liberals are always complaining that conservatives hate science, but then we do not care that in biology a lot of the times the woman is the submissive partner whose job it is to take care of the children and the man is the dominant partner who goes out foraging for food. Why are they ignoring this? It’s science! Why do liberals hate science so much, huh?
Also, in nature, mothers sometimes eat their children, so perhaps we should start imitating that as well?
For his part, Juan Williams is very upset that politicians are not doing their part to tell women that they belong in the kitchen, barefoot and pregnant. They are afraid of telling the truth! Doug Schoen is convinced that unless they start standing up to women now, it could undermine our very social order.
So please, everyone– before we find ourselves in the midst of a terrifying vaginocalypse wherein women just run around willy nilly in pants, earning money and voting and not making sammiches– write to your elected representatives and encourage them to stand up to us! Perhaps we ought to consider stoning women who darest attempt to destroy the very fabric of American society by earning more than their husbands? Something must be done!