How Instagram beats Vine

The Internet was ablaze on Thursday with the earth-shattering announcement that Instagram got video. Instantly the Vine vs. Instagram smackdown took over. TechCrunch put together this handy infographic and all the technical info you might need for comparison’s sake.

Sure you can get lost in the chart, but the simple reality is this: nine extra seconds!

Remember that scene from “There’s Something About Mary” where the hitchhiker tells Ben Stiller about his get-rich-quick scheme? He’s going to beat the workout tape 8 Minute Abs with his own tape — 7 Minute Abs.

Think about it, man—you got two apps here, one’s shooting for six seconds, the other is shooting for 15 seconds! Which are you gonna pick?! 15, man!

While it’s hard to imagine doing anything all that meaningful in an extra nine seconds, it might actually make a difference. Then again more isn’t always better—who would have thought that imposing an arbitrary 140-character cap would have made Twitter one of the most powerful communication tools on the planet?

Also, Instagram already has all of the people, so it’s entirely possible that in this case the hitchhiker (to extend the metaphor) will turn out to be totally right and the get-rich-quick scheme will work perfectly. Plus it has all of the filters. Which I guess is pretty if your’e into filters.

However TechCrunch’s speculation that the audiences are different enough for them both to thrive seems a little far-fetched. “Where Instagram’s user base is mostly made up of people documenting their feet, coffees, and pets, Vine has attracted a group of users who are pleased by the challenges set forth in the app,” the site writes. Challenges set forth in the app? I dunno, I’ve seen plenty of feet on Vine—and other things.

Which brings us to a major point left off of TechCrunch’s infograph—there will be no porn on Instagram. Which actually seems like it could become the biggest point of departure, relegating the nudie-seekers to Vine and everyone else to Instagram.

Just recently venture capitalist Fred Wilson said that the only thing keeping Twitter from toppiling Facebook in terms of user growth and relevancy is that Twitter doesn’t have a great photo-sharing solution and Facebook is the world’s leading photo sharer. So last year Twitter tried to buy Instagram. What did Facebook do? Swept in and bought the app for $1 billion, even though they were already the leading photo sharer. Next Twitter goes out and builds their own freaking 8 Minute Abs. And what does Facebook do? 7 Minute Abs!

You’ve got to hand it to Facebook, they are doing a pretty good job of keeping Twitter down.