The ‘ex-gays’ found their theme song and it is every bit as terrible as you thought it would be


As you may recall, earlier this year, the Ex-Gays (and a bunch of straight people who think that gay people should pretend to be straight) announced that they would be celebrating “Ex-Gay Pride Month” in July, for which they would (of course) need an Ex-Gay Theme Song. However, they couldn’t really get it together for July and thus decided to celebrate said month of pride in September. As I’m sure you know, because, really, there are so many of them, how could you avoid it?

Earlier this week, they even had their very first Ex-Gay Awareness Dinner, which boasted an attendance of 60 whole entire people. Which I guess is pretty fancy for them, given that their March on Washington had less than ten.

But that is not the real news. The real news is that they actually found a theme song, and it is hilariously terrible. I haven’t been able to listen to the whole thing, because it’s just so long and the dude keeps repeating the same thing over and over again and I just can’t.

Can we please talk about that knick-knack collection? Seriously. The man has wooden clogs. On display. In what appears to be his home.

Apparently the dude who is singing the song is himself an ex-gay, and probably came to that decision after getting kicked out of the Gay Men’s Chorus for always pushing the Andrew Lloyd Weber. Which still doesn’t explain the wooden clogs! Yes, I realize this is a weird thing to get hung up on, but really, when was the last time you even saw a pair of those outside of someone’s grandmother’s bric-a-brac stand?

Anyway, I guess this was their choice. It doesn’t feel very festive to me. I think they should have taken my suggestion, because it would have been the most perfect choice humanly possible.