Japanese chain reveals burger wrapper that conceals your disgusting eating habits

Doug Stanhope’s prayers are answered. In the November 2013 issue of Esquire, the comic attested to the disgusting experience of eating with another human being.

“To this day, mouth noises, someone slopping food … Why do people eat lunch together?” Stanhope asked. “I want to eat by myself. Chewing is one of the most revolting things to me. Wind makes me unnerved, too.”

Well, maybe funny man’s next tour in Japan (is Stanhope big in Japan?) won’t be such a disaster, now that the chain Freshness Burger has introduced a wrapper that helps tolerate your friends and family at the dinner table. Primarily intended to cater to “ochobo,” which is Japanese for the “small, modest mouth,” usually on women, the fast food chain is marketing a “Liberation Wrapper” that allows little girls to go sloppy on big fat-ass burgers in public.

Nice job.

People are excited.”??? – NY???????????????????????,” raves @basket_ad_man. “??????????????????????????????????,” hails @torisan3500. The thought process behind Freshness’s new innovation is to increase sales by making their burgers easier for women to feel comfortable eating (apparently they sell more burgers to men) without embarrassment.

See, look how easy it is now. Liberating indeed. I guess.


h/t JDP/images via and via