Introducing Buttcoin, the cryptocurrency for peer-to-peer butt

Sometimes it randomly occurs to you to do a Google search for a stupid pun like “buttcoin,” and it actually bears fruit. In this case,, a satirical website aimed at mocking everyone’s favorite doomed cyrptocurrency. So what exactly are Buttcoins? According to the site:

“Buttcoin is a peer-to-peer butt. Peer-to-peer means that no central authority issues new butts or tracks butts. These tasks are managed collectively by the network. It’s like a bitcoin, but with butts instead.”

The site is a fairly childish criticism of the hacker currency (though certainly funny). You could of course read more valid criticisms of BitCoin elsewhere—about its enormous carbon footprint, the fact that it’s creating a huge tax refuge for the super-wealthy that could end up gutting public services, how its lack of regulation encourages unseemly black markets like child porn and assassination. Or perhaps most horrifying of all, it’s a currency designed as a libertarian political weapon.

Any currency is on some level an implicit argument in favor of its preferred political/economic system, but at least with something like the dollar we can actually democratically agree on policies surrounding it. Contrast that with Bitcoin, which isn’t bound to anything, and is biased in favor of those who are already very wealthy. So without our consent, we all get to participate in a bunch of rich libertarians’ fun economic experiment, however malicious and damaging it might turn out to be.

There’s little doubt that when the Bitcoin bubble inevitably pops, it’ll be as valuable as Buttcoin. Let’s just hope this happens before its demise can cause too much damage for those of us who never wanted it in the first place.