Hillary Clinton went shopping, which obviously means she is running for president

Page Six should maybe stay away from politics. The gossip rag rolled out an item this morning about how Hillary Clinton went shopping at Bergdorf’s on Tuesday, noting that the trip “spark[ed] further speculation that she’s suiting up for a 2016 presidential run.”

Really? Who is speculating? No one else I’ve heard of, other than Emily Smith of Page Six. Certainly not me. I hadn’t even heard about it. Probably because I don’t really keep on top of all the super important “person goes shopping” news. Although I confess I did enjoy today’s TMZ article about Mandy Moore picking up her dry cleaning, because I feel like it’s been several years since I’d even heard the name “Mandy Moore,” and then BOOM! There she is, picking up dry cleaning! Like some kind of person who has dry cleaning to pick up from the dry cleaners. Good ol’ Mandy “Pickin’ Stuff Up From the Dry Cleaners” Moore.  Remember that time she sang a song about “Missing You Like Candy” and everyone just accepted it like it was a thing a person could do and not some kind of Mad Lib? I still wonder about that.

Anyway, why would a person going shopping mean that they were planning a presidential run? Maybe she just, you know, needed some new pants or something. Maybe she was going on vacation. I go shopping all the time, and have yet to contemplate running for president. I just bought a new coat from Etsy this morning, with no motives other than the fact that it was super cute.

Page Six notes at the end of the article that “a rep for Bergdorf’s declined to comment. Clinton spokesman Philippe Reines didn’t respond.”

How bad do I feel right now for the poor intern who had to call up Phillippe Reines and be like “Hi Phil! Page Six here! We heard that Hillary Clinton went shopping on Tuesday. Could you comment on what this means?” Because that is a really embarrassing thing to be forced to say. How do even you do that without laughing? You know Reines is playing that voicemail to everyone he knows for the next week or so.