Married ‘Christian conservative’ congressman caught making out with staffer

Louisiana Rep. Vance McCallister (R-Your Pants)–who is married with five children, ran for office as a “Christian conservative,” and was heavily supported and promoted by the cast of “Duck Dynasty”–has been caught on video getting frisky with also-married staffer¬†Melissa Anne Hixon Peacock, who worked as his district scheduler.

Yep. Mrs. Peacock in the office with McCallister’s tongue–we do not know at this time if a candlestick or rope were involved.

The footage–which takes place in McCallister’s office–was obtained through unknown means by the Ouachita Citizen.¬†The incident occurred on Dec. 23rd, two days before the celebration of the birth of his lord and savior, Jesus H. Christ. Before we take a look at that, though, let’s meet McCallister.

Oh look! There he is, being all family man like and bragging about his fabulous morality and religiosity! Oh, how McCallister wishes that the liberal scum in Washington cared about faith and family as much as he does. One can only assume he never got a chance to meet Anthony Weiner.

In this one, he promises to defend “Our Christian Way of Life” and protect the unborn!

And here is the footage of the illicit holiday make-out session.

In a statement to the Ouachita Citizen, Vance apologized for his actions.

“There’s no doubt I’ve fallen short and I’m asking for forgiveness,” McAllister said in a statement. “I’m asking for forgiveness from God, my wife, my kids, my staff, and my constituents who elected me to serve. Trust is something I know has to be earned whether your a husband, a father, or a congressman. I promise to do everything I can to earn back the trust of everyone I’ve disappointed.”

Now, my rule is, I don’t care about the sexual proclivities of politicians as long as they don’t make straight up hypocrites of themselves or try to judge me or the people I care about. You can’t brag about how awesome you are at being a Christian and being a family man and then get to have some sweet action on the side. I am pretty sure that religion has rules about that stuff, and unless Mrs. Peacock is a handmaid, this probably violates them.

My other rule is that I’d never make out with a dude named Vance, because I cannot imagine someone named Vance not being the worst. But we all have our things.