Sarah Palin chats about abortion with A.C. Slater, like in that weird dream you had once

You know how sometimes you have weird dreams that combine unrelated people in completely ridiculous situations? Well, that, I must tell you, is how I felt watching this video of Sarah Palin chatting about abortion and Hilary Clinton with Mario Lopez on Tuesday night’s “Extra.” She was on the show, ostensibly promoting her reality show “Amazing America”–but, naturally, the conversation turned to Clinton’s possible 2016 run and the fact that she’s going to be a grandmother.

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In the bizarro interview, Palin suggests that being a grandmother will make Clinton pro-life, as she apparently thinks that pro-choice people are like, completely opposed to babies being born or anyone having a baby, period. Like there is no palpable difference between a woman choosing to have a baby, on purpose, and an unwanted pregnancy. Even if this wasn’t like, some weird thing Palin made up, Clinton is going to be a grandmother…because of the fact that she has already been a mother. Clinton, herself, gave birth to Chelsea Clinton.

To clarify, if I must–literally no normal person wants to abort all the babies. If anything, pro-choice is pro-child. We think every child deserves to be wanted and loved. We believe that abortion should be safe, legal and rare, which is why we also feel very importantly about birth control. We don’t think women should die trying to give themselves abortions because they don’t have access to a safe and legal procedure.

Lopez also (gently) asked her about her the whole “Water-boarding is baptism for terrorists” thing. Palin responded by suggesting that people need to get to a Webster’s dictionary, because baptism doesn’t just mean the Christian sacrament, it actually just means to “submerge” or “to dunk.” Not to be all “gotcha” about this, but let’s check that out, shall we?

Via Mirriam-Webster:

bap·tism noun \ˈbap-ˌti-zəm, especially Southern ˈbab-\
: a Christian ceremony in which a small amount of water is placed on a person’s head or in which a person’s body is briefly placed under water

Full Definition of BAPTISM

1 a : a Christian sacrament marked by ritual use of water and admitting the recipient to the Christian community
b : a non-Christian rite using water for ritual purification
c : Christian Science : purification by or submergence in Spirit
2 : an act, experience, or ordeal by which one is purified, sanctified, initiated, or named

Welp. So there’s that. One would think that a self-proclaimed “Born-Again Christian” who reads “all the newspapers” would be able to define the word “Baptism.” I mean, it’s not exactly an SAT word. But then again, it is possible that a bunch of Liberals snuck in right after Palin’s interview to change the dictionary just to thwart her. We are pretty sneaky like that.