Fedora lover: ‘Class is for men and swag is for boys’

By now many of you are more than familiar with the below footage of an anxious post-adolescent who is coming to the unnecessary defense of a men’s fashion accessory from the 1950s. Of course, sadly, it is fake. This guy is full of shtick–from shower segments to barbecue detective characters–but that does not mean we were not mean to enjoy it.

Here, I’ll do you one better. For you literary types, there’s a transcription of the rant below the embed:

“This video’s for all you stupid fucking trolls and haters online–saying mean and hurtful things about fedoras. Well, guess what? They rule harder than you, dipshits!

You don’t fucking know anything about this hat, idiots! Quite frankly, quite frankly, I just think you’re jealous-ass haters, because you couldn’t even pull off wear, this this look. If you couldn’t even, you couldn’t even wear a fedora if your lifes’ depended on it because you know what? It’s class, and class is for men and swag is for boys. but you wouldn’t know shit about that, fucking haters!

This hat is for what cool people wear, and you can’t figure it out. You sit there online on your fucking websites and you state bullshit about it, but guess what? It’s just a hat and you’re not even cool enough to wear it. So next time you think before you do trolling. I’d implore you to do a little bit of thinking if that’s even possible for you to think before you do fucking hating on fedoras.

They’re just a hat and you’re just a stupid swag idiot. You think swag is so cool, but guess what? It’s for boys, and class is for men. This is class. That’s all I got to say to you stupid-ass haters and bullshit bully trolls.

You don’t know shit. You don’t know fashion. You don’t know anything about this world if you keep saying bullshit jokes. I know you’re just trying to be stupid and ass funny but it’s not fucking funny. Get the fuck off line if you’re gonna keep saying this bullshit keep spouting it out of your stupid-ass keyboards that probably aren’t even mechanical.

Listen, log off idiots. You don’t know shit. Your stupid swag–you don’t know shit, and I dare you to say one more fucking joke and I’ll slit your throat-neck. Anyway, that’s it haters. See you later, you fucking idiots.”