Kim Jong Un reportedly missing due to severe cheese addiction

If you hadn’t heard, Kim Jong Un has been missing for a few weeks. Last week speculation was circulating that he’d fallen ill. Kim has had health troubles in the past, and reports feared the worst.

But now a new report coming out of everyone’s favorite hermit dictatorship suggests a different reason for the radio silence: Cheese addiction.

Having attended school in Switzerland, Kim Jong Un is apparently totally bonkers for Swiss cheese, specifically Emmental. In fact back in April of this year he appealed to France to find a cheese-making school where he could send a few North Korean students to learn how to make his favorite cheese back home.

No word on whether that operation was successful, but Kim does appear to have gotten his hands on a good amount of his beloved Emmental one way or another, as new reports have him binge eating and gaining so much weight that he’s developed a limp and ducked out of public view. Metro writes that Kim’s cheese obsession has “escalated into dependence.”

The administration in Pyongyang has stopped short of commenting on the cheese addiction one way or another, admitting only that he is in “uncomfortable physical condition.” For entirely different reasons, it sounds like Kim finally has something in common with average North Koreans.