‘Co-Prophet of the End Times’ finds Satanic messages in Postal Service flyer

A while back, we introduced you to William Tapley, Co-Prophet of the End Times and Third Eagle of the Apocalypse and Most Amazingest Human Ever–after he cleverly realized that actor Danny DeVito was, in fact, the anti-christ.

“What’s he up to this time?” you wonder. Both because you are intellectually intrigued and somewhat sexually aroused.

I will tell you. He is wearing a jaunty sparkle hat and sexy sweater-vest, and finding Satanic messages in flyers distributed by the U.S. Postal Service. Secret “666” type messages. Like the fact that there are seven items on some list they made, which means that there is an item for a “number six,” and also there are six snowflakes on one page, with six sides each. See? 666! Also, there are 23 lightbulbs, which is, I guess, another Satan number. This, friends, is the true “War on Christmas.” Satan is taking over the U.S. Postal Service, just in time for the holidays.

Hopefully, this will not mean that the fanciful glitter hat I just ordered will be lost in the mail.


[h/t Christian Nightmares]