The case is still wide open on Screech’s ‘stunt wang’ sex tape defense [NSFW]

Dustin Diamond, who played Screech Powers in the ’90s sitcom “Saved by the Bell” and allegedly stabbed someone in a bar back in December, recently spoke to a Fox News affiliate in Milwaukee. The local station conducted a remarkably generous interview that allowed Diamond to pose as a mature, compassionate version of himself. For instance, the 38-year-old discussed how he had come to terms with his sketchy 2006 sex tape “Saved by the Smell,” in which he has a hotel-room romp with a supposed bride and bridesmaid, post-bachelorette party, who went to see his stand-up routine earlier in the evening.

Diamond writes off the sex tape as “an opportunistic moment when I was young and dumb,” but now coercing women who attend his comedy shows for sexual exploitation is a thing of the past. Or is it? “I walk a very honest and humble path,” Diamond told the Fox News affiliate. “I’ve tripped and fallen many times. If you don’t, how do you learn?”

Diamond also claims that wasn’t even his penis in the video. Save the opening eight-minute scene at his home in which Diamond is undeniably playing with his dick in a bathtub, the actor has been used a bullshit “stunt wang” defense since 2013 as if this was some sort of high-quality production that involved several cast members. But maybe I’m wrong. Perhaps this sex tape was indeed just an isolated “opportunistic moment” in which he behaved so “young and dumb” around two women who attended one show?

Likely not. In 2009, a Heeb Magazine contributor wrote of an “extremely awkward” 2006 sexual encounter with Diamond at a Marriott Hotel, during which he displayed “all the grace of a 14-year old boy” and shouted an item from a Chinese takeout menu at the moment of climax.

More from Heeb’s “Celebrity Shtup: I Fucked Screech”:

The sex was extremely awkward, and Diamond shifted from one position to the next with all the grace of a 14-year old boy. After 10 minutes, he pulled out to cum on my stomach. The fact that he yelled out “Moo Goo Gai Pan” while ejaculating only heightened the magical moment. He offered to wipe me down with a towel, but I excused myself to the bathroom with a simple: “No, that’s ok. I can clean it up myself.”

… Every time I reached for my shirt or looked at the time he interrogated me, asking me what I was doing. Finally, a friend called and I was able to get dressed and go … I was ready to get the fuck out.

One can certainly experience a new sense of self between the years 2006 and 2015 — and theoretically any one of us could find ourselves in a drunken Christmas stabbing, especially when visiting family. But Diamond’s attempt to clean the slate doesn’t quite ring true, does it? Like, how about that time in 2009 when his deal with Gotham Books for a “Saved by the Bell” tell-all fell through because he made several “unverifiable” assertions about cast members? Or how, in an August 2014 interview, he wouldn’t own up to his memoir’s trash-talking his “Bell” co-stars because “it was written by a ghost writer”?

And if we’re really going to nitpick, his “stunt wang” comment is likely bullshit. There’s no way to prove or disprove him since we only see a POV shot of a man’s penis during the sex scene. And, of course, what consenting adults do in their hotel rooms is no one else’s business. And, sure, this is a lot of time and energy to put into describing the hypocrisy of a washed-up ’90s TV star, but I guess we just want to help keep the man honest — especially when a local news affiliate acts as his press flack.

But back to the stunt wang: The case is still open, as far as I’m concerned. Scrutinize the sex tape footage below for yourself, and please get in touch with us if you know anyone else who has had creepy run-ins with Screech:

[Fox 6 Now | Heeb | video: XVideos]