Walmart customer arrested for jacking off

In Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, a 23-year-old was arrested for indecent exposure after allegedly jacking off inside a Walmart superstore.

According to an arrest report obtained by The Smoking Gun, Jeremy Percival Bryant (see mugshot) had been spotted by a Walmart customer who told employees that some guy was “acting weird” in the women’s department. Staff then checked out the scene and saw that Bryant had taken out his dong and apparently beat the living hell out of it.

When police arrived, Bryant had admitted that he “had a problem with sticking his hands in his pants.” Or perhaps he had no problem at all?

One employee elaborated to police that Bryant had been walking up and down aisles where he would rub himself until someone would approach him. So it was basically the jack-n-go method, invented by Dr. Erich von Ribbentropp in the eighteenth century.

Walmart had kept Bryant in the office until police arrived to charge him. Seriously, someone should start a support group for these guys.