Man calls 911 on wife who stole his cocaine

In Alliance, Ohio, a 39-year-old dialed emergency services on Wednesday evening because his wife allegedly stole his coke.

“Me and my lady’s having a misunderstanding n’ shit about something I bought,” Robert Collins, see mugshot, told police. “I bought some cocaine earlier, and she wanted to take my cocaine.”

The conversation drifts away from the line and into presumably the living room where Collins spouts off quite a few “fucks” and “shits” as the 911 operator waits patiently. It was only around the 2:55 mark (embedded below) that the caller returned to the line and realized who he had called in the first place.

He laughed, then wrote off the situation as if his life had temporarily found itself in a grittier “Curb Your Enthusiasm” episode. “It don’t matter,” he told the 911 operator. “I guess, man.”

Unfortunately, authorities did not feel the same way. A squad car arrived to the residents and arrested Collins for drug possession. The police report, obtained by The Smoking Gun, claims that Collins “had a pipe used to smoke marijuana in his possession,” was “arrested and charged with misuse of 911 and drug paraphernalia.”

Collins was taken to county jail, a place where several jag-offs have become familiar on account of bonehead calls to 911 — like, as if you need an example, that one guy in Georgia who got pissed over getting the wrong McDonald’s order in the drive-thru.

[TSG | audio: WEWS Channel 5]

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