Man turns the act of saying ‘hello’ to women into hilarious existential crisis

According to comedian Robbie Sherrard, saying hello to men is easy. “Chin up if you know them,” he explains, “chin down if you don’t.”

As he lays out in his video “How To Say Hello to a Woman,” the rest of his rules seem pretty on point: “Hugs for family members, pounds for children, handshakes for everybody else.”

However, its saying hello to women that throws Sherrard into an existential tailspin, especially when it comes to such rules as to whether you hug or handshake a coworker you’ve run into in a recreational setting. He can’t stop obsessing over the failed flirty wave that made him look like a magician and don’t even get him started on deploying a premature handshake.

“You’re gonna be walking across the room with your hand out like you’re delivering a letter,” Sherrard says. “I’ve made this mistake many times, there’s no way out, I promise you.”

Sherrard’s all-consuming anxiety over how to appropriately interact with women is actually pretty entertaining for the rest of us, especially when he whips out a completely deranged poster-sized chart that is supposed to break down the appropriate greeting for every situation. It really doesn’t help matters at all.

[Robbie Sherrard]