Spiders who give deadly super-boners found in bananas

It seems like you never quite know what you’re bringing home when you buy groceries these days. Maria Layton of Bristol, England found that out when she purchased some bananas from her local Tesco only to find that a nest of deadly spiders had infested one.

The 43-year-old was in the process of giving a banana to her six-year-old daughter when she saw what looked like a cocoon in the peel. It turned out that the cocoon housed the hatching eggs of the Brazilian Wandering Spider, a poisonous arachnid that, according to Daily Mail, has “the most toxic venom in the world.” The eggs must have been laid before the bananas were imported from Costa Rica.

boner banana

“My husband bought the bananas from Tesco, they had been in the house a whole day before I ripped the bag open,” said Layton. “The first banana had a funny bit on it, so I got another one for her and that was when I found the massive spider cocoon. There was a spider web on the other bananas too.”

In addition to killing a person, another effect of the spider bite is a four-hour erection in men. However, the whole risk of death aspect doesn’t really make the venom’s Viagra effect worth it. Plus, the poison boners are supposed to be painful as hell.

Once Layton realized what she was dealing with, she neutralized the threat by putting the bananas, and the hundreds of spider eggs, in the freezer. She then contacted Tesco and a rep asked her to bring in the bananas so that they could investigate the cocoon and give her a refund. Obviously, she balked at handling what is essentially a ticking time bomb full of hundreds of deadly spiders in order to get a few dollars back.

The fact that buying produce now includes the risk bringing home a deadly spider infestation makes us long for the days when the worst thing found in packaged food was a crab or a rat’s head.

[h/t Metro]