The best quotes from season 4 of ‘Girls’

Another season of HBO’s hit show “Girls” has come to an end. While the show keeps getting better in terms of drama and poignancy, this season was a bit of a departure from the others. This was the first season to start without someone spooning Hannah in bed. It seemed meaner than before, with animosity building between the girls. Which makes it even more realistic, if you think about it. How many friend groups simply grow into a collection of grudges? It was an uneven but still pretty excellent season. Lena Dunham is like a millennial Larry David, leaving the audience not knowing where Hannah ends and Lena begins.

Hannah continued to sabotage herself in grad school, and when she returned to the city, Adam had moved on to the grotesque Mimi-Rose. Shoshanna had trouble integrating into the job market. Jessa and Marnie continued their reign of mediocrity. Ray ran for a community board seat and won! Elijah is still the best part of the series. Hannah’s father finally came out of the closet, only to return to her mother in the finale. This season brought back the earlier theme of the show’s greatest love story being about Hannah and Marnie. But there were unanswered questions as well. How can you mention Zachary Quinto early in the season only to have him show up later playing insufferable hipster trash? How was Hannah paying for everything in Iowa when she had no job or help from her parents? What happened to the kitten Marnie adopted? Why is Desi still on the show? Why did Hannah just give up on writing? Anyway, though the show is operating at a very high level, its shtick might be starting to wear thin. But the dialogue was still razor sharp, so let’s jump in.



On cheap rent in Iowa:

“Two thumbs the fuck up.”

On her writers workshop:

“We’re all just here to express ourselves so it’s like, to censor each other, we’re no better than… George W. Bush.”

On a crying girl at a party, outside of a bathroom:

“Your boyfriend is cheating on you, where the fuck is that dingbat?! Oh, so you’re saying it’s a long distance thing? Oh, then you’re gonna need to snap out of it. Thems the rules, honey. Don’t ask, don’t tell. You’re not gonna know what he’s doing there, he’s not gonna know you’re doing here. And that’s okay and that’s why you’re gonna move into that living room and you are gonna bust a nut. You are gonna get your dick wet. You are gonna get yours. That’s what you need to do. You can’t sit around being little miss faithful. That’s fucking crazy. Are you crazy?! I’m sorry. Here, drink this. Drink this. It’s okay. I’ve seen a lot of things and I’m 25 years old and I’m here to help you, alright? You’re gonna be alright, okay. I’m gonna use the bathroom before you. Thank you.”

On date prep:

“I’m still a sexual, viable woman. Now get out of here because I have to masturbate. That’s what you do before a date. So the sexual tension doesn’t, like, overwhelm the evening.”

On her high school art department:

“The entire arts department at my high school consisted of a broken trumpet and a music teacher who’d been fired for acting in a porno. Well, he was just jerking off. He wasn’t, like, the star. But he… but he was there. He was on the periphery.”

On herself:

“Wait, Mom, I need to ask you something. Do you think I’m a dramatic person? Cause this guy that I like, or like don’t even like, I went on one half date with him and he claims to like me says I’m too dramatic. I’m not dramatic. I’m a person who’s not gonna sugarcoat things. I’m a person who really gets a lot – out of life. Okay, and I’m also a person who sees the darkness in life. I’m not a fucking character on ‘The Hills.’ I’m responding to real issues. I’m responding to the financial crisis. I’m responding to the fact that so many people are homeless. If that makes me dramatic, if that makes me… Courtney Love, you know, then I can handle that…”

On explaining life to a new-born baby:

“I’m gonna tell you some things about being alive. Life, man. I can’t guarantee perfection but I can guarantee intrigue.”



On the TV show Scandal:

“I hope someday to know the passion that Huck feels for Quinn.”

On her first job interview:

“I think in my heart of hearts, I knew that, like, this was really just a trial interview. You know, to hone my skills, test the firmness of my handshake and the walkability of these heels.”

On Chelsea Clinton:

“She’s always been one of my heroes. Because she’s such a strong woman, struggling so nobly with her very curly hair.”

On wardrobe choices:

“A t-shirt says who you are to the world.”

On civic change:

“I don’t know, like, go to a city council meeting like on those boring C-SPAN shows where everyone has bad hair and wears polyester. You’re smart. Use your brain. Put it into action and you could totally enact some change… I hate that t-shirt so much. It’s so bad.”

On campaigning:

“Ray, no politician is a fan of honesty. You have to focus on results.”

On the future:

“Like, I want to know more about the future of your cock.”



On a guy she met at AA:

“He’s having trouble with the whole God thing, so I told him just replace the word “God” for “Jessa” and, like, see if it helps. And now I’m, like, the only thing standing between him and a crack pipe.”

On Shoshanna, who is no longer taking her advice:

“Yeah, and notice that since then you have been unemployed with a sandy, broken vagina.”

On the awfulness of Mimi-Rose and Ace:

“I’m not gonna to be a pawn in your game. I fucking run game! And you are full of shit in a different way. I don’t even know what that way is and I’m sure you’ll probably make some really shitty art about it.”



On Hannah moving to Iowa and wanting to start the revolution:

“No one is moving to Iowa ever but I’m so so glad you’re happy, seriously.”

On Hannah’s selfishness:

“You’re so selfish that when we lived together you put the fire extinguisher in your own bedroom so that you could have access to it first.”



Toasting Hannah:

“To Hannah. Taking the next step in a series of random steps. How strange our journey is through life. You know, we try to inject it with meaning but at the end of the day all we have are… days… marching on.”

On Ray:

“Fucking Ray. The guy fancies himself some kind of renaissance man but he doesn’t know jack shit about fuck.”



On Adam and Jessa:

“You guys are a pair of barbarians. You know that? We live in a civil society that’s buttressed by decency and respect, okay? We don’t resist arrest when we’ve done something wrong. We don’t tackle police officers. And we sure as fuck do not urinate on the sidewalk!”

On errands:

“I run errands in a very precise and focused way.”



On being late:

“I woke in Harlem smelling like moussaka and I didn’t have time to go home and change. There’s a lot of really exciting things happening above 125th street that I’m very happy to know about them. I stopped at the First Corinthians church for a musical interlude and then on my way downtown, I rescued a kitten.”

On being tough onstage:

“You should have stopped giving a fuck when you got on that stage. What do Judy Garland and Lady Gaga have in common? They’re both bad bitches who dont give a fuck what people think. They were told that they weren’t thin enough, that they weren’t feminine enough, that they weren’t beautiful enough… And then Judy went and died cause it all became too much! But Lady Gaga’s fine.”

On moving to Iowa:

“Honestly, New York was just too grotesque. I mean I just feel like a fucking loser. I keep running into people that I slept with. And then last week I saw a homeless woman fist herself on my stoop…”

On photography:

“I just realized that I got so good at taking selfies that I just wasn’t challenged anymore. And then I thought, “what would happen if I turned the camera… around?” Its a real epiphany for me, Hannah.”

On leaving Iowa:

“I had just gone as far as I could go in Iowa. I was practically running that JC Penney. I was dating a guy who was the frontrunner in the mayoral race, and I had just put a bid in on 16 acres but I thought, I don’t know, I just feel empty so I might as well come back here and be with you losers.”

On brunch:

“I’m falling asleep right now. I could be at a brunch with a guy who owns a microbrewery. So let’s pep it up.”


Season 3 quotes

Season 1 and 2 quotes