Woman bites off man’s cock at family picnic

In Chisinau, Moldova, a 24-year-old defended herself by biting off the cock of a man who had allegedly sexually assaulted her during an afternoon picnic among family and friends. When the 53-year-old had his pants around his ankles, the woman, who was friend’s with his wife, had gnashed her teeth into the attacker’s dick — which resulted in the attacker screaming “Call an ambulance! it’s going to fall off!”

Assailant Florin Ionita was discovered by his wife, 49-year-old Maria, as he was shaking on the ground and holding the remnants of his cock and blood was all over his hands. “I was at a picnic with my husband,” she later explained to emergency services, “and some friends and I left to take some of them home in our car, leaving him behind with one friend.”

That’s when, according to the reliably reliable Mirror UK, Maria returned to the park and found her dickless husband in agony and shouting. The wife put two and two together quickly enough. And she actually wasn’t too pissed about the whole thing. I guess? “He was only trying to do what all men try to do,” Maria added, “but when I called the ambulance I didn’t do it too fast, and I told them not to hurry.”

Maria also gave emergency services poor directions to the park site. As for her friend, she is pressing sexual assault charges on Ionita, who is currently in hospice (the Mirror purports the above photo to be the dickless man being wheeled into triage) and, upon release, will have to deal with the consequences — i.e. up to a possible five years in prison.

When asked by his wife why he would force himself upon her friend while she was away, Ionita responded, “I just wanted to pass the time pleasantly.”

You know, this incident reminds me of other dick-biting moments on this rock — like how in March 2013, a prostitute bit off her john’s dick for taking her to Applebee’s; or how about how, in the same week of September 2013,  a toothless man bit a neighbor’s dick because of his loud Xbox and a rugby player was suspended for biting another player’s penis even though he denied the whole thing. Oh, memories.

[h/t Mirror UK]

Tags: Dicks